Starting a Revolution

The only way to start marching forward, moving toward progress is to be united in solidarity for the cause. There are many ways to accomplish this, and any measurable effort made by anyone counts toward the goal. It's time for everyone to get involved with the community to the best of their ability. Positive public representation is needed; many more transwomen must become visible in society.

Before we can take our message to the world, it needs to first be determined exactly what is "the cause"? Who are we and what do we represent? And who are we not? We come from all walks of life, all around the world, what is the glue that holds us together? Before we can "represent", we have to decide who and what we are representing. What is our position? What defines us? Without this, we can't even begin any strategic directed movement because we ourselves don't know where we're going.

The movement must begin with the formation of guiding principles that proponents of the movement can support (manifesto, mission, principle, doctrine, directives, etc). Solidarity can only come with a solid definition of purpose. There is a need to redefine transwomen, and differentiate you as a distinct group apart from the other groups who may resemble or impersonate you.

There are at least three points I think need to be strongly promoted:

1) Transwomen love women and femininity

If the women of the world could see how much you support us, how could we not embrace you? The reality is, we have no idea that you even exist! You are like Peter Pan to us. Visible groups who crossdress (ie: drag queens) do not love us, and in some ways they are ridiculing us. Other groups (ie: shemale pornstars) are abusing our feminine charms and demeaning the image of women. You are the opposite of those groups in the sense that you actually LOVE us! You respect us, you strive to do credit to our image and support our causes. We don't know about your special kind because you are mostly closeted. I was floored at the discovery of you, like finding some windfall stash of rare diamonds that no one else knows about.

2) Transgenderism is not a sexual orientation

While I applaud the effort of the gay/lesbian/bisexual movement to include transgenderism, in some ways the GLBT movement has promoted the view the TG is a sexual orientation. Even the most free-spirited liberal people out there might not realize this critical point of distinction. We need to erase the notion that conclusions can be drawn about sexual orientation based on gender identity. No such relationship exists, as TG people come in every type of orientation that ordinary people do.

3) Transgenderism is neither a mental disorder nor a fetish

Psychologists are working from the premise that only the above two choices are possible. The transperson who is happy and comfortable with their duality is not recognized. No one has properly defined the duality as a gift, which to those who can freely express themselves, it is. The pain/grief of the duality is often only a result of social repression and negative external consequences, not the duality itself. If you were able to just be yourselves, many of you would rejoice and celebrate your duality as a gift.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/roll-call.html

Beware of Bubba

Though we'd all prefer to focus on the good things in life, we've got to take the bad with the good. The reality is, Bubba does exist, and he lives everywhere. Rather than ignoring the problem, let's face it, and try to find ways to deal with it.

On average, in the United States, one transgendered woman per month dies violently at the hands of Bubba. Furthermore, history indicates that 25% of all genetic women are violently raped by Bubba sometime during the course of their life. Bubba is a serious concern to all who identify as female, visible minority, physically weaker, or culturally different. Sadly, Bubba is so low in moral fiber that he will even victimize little children.

I have grown up all my life watching for Bubba, and avoiding him when I see him. I learned very early that trying to reason with Bubba is generally pointless, as he's not too smart. From my experience, he can often be found wherever the testosterone runs thick: men's sports teams (particularly football and hockey), weightlifting gyms, country bars, biker bars, truck stops, pool halls, monster truck races... you get the picture.

I find Bubba to be such a repulsive entity that I tend to avoid venues he is known to frequent. If I accidentally find myself in such a place, and spot Bubba and his friends, I generally won't risk sticking around. While genetic females are at risk in the presence of Bubba, I would venture than transgendered women would be at even more of a risk. Appearing female, you are certain to attract Bubba's attention. If he realizes you are transgendered, he is likely to believe that you "tricked" him, and would feel justified in harassing you if not worse.

Not everything about being female is rosy. With the female gender comes sexual objectification, stalking and harassment. As transwomen, you may not be accustomed to being treated as female, and as such may not operate with the same caution that all females must.

We don't walk alone at night or go out to clubs alone. We can't leave our drink unattended. We have to be more careful about talking to strangers. We must look over our shoulders and stay alert at all times. This is reality, and the only advice I can give about Bubba is prevention and protection measures:

** NEVER **

1) Go out alone at night, except to very public places.
2) Go to a drinking establishment alone, or leave with a stranger.
3) Leave your beverage unattended, accept a drink from a stranger, or become too intoxicated.
4) Look down at your shoes when you walk... pay attention always!
5) Remain in an establishment where you've spotted Bubba, particularly if he is drinking... take your party elsewhere before it's too late.

** ALWAYS **

1) Carry a cell phone and a personal alarm.
2) Carry protection, ideally mace or bear spray. If you carry a gun or a knife, you'd better be an expert at using it lest it be taken and used on you.
3) Stick together as a group - even bathroom trips should be done at least in pairs.
4) Learn a self-defense technique (martial arts, boxing)
5) If connecting with someone new, take your own car and meet him rather than having him pick you up.

Here are a couple links to check out:
http://www.defendingwomen.com
http://bad.eserver.org/issues/1995/22/rentschler.html

Those who know me realize I am not the type of person to run from conflict. In the case of a conflict with someone like Bubba, it's the only safe thing to do. Sweetest sisters of mine, please always stay alert, watch your backs, and be careful out there.

AVOID BUBBA AT ALL COSTS!!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/beware-of-bubba.html

Your Own Best Girlfriend

-->Brielle Whitney: Bri demanded to exist. She will not go quietly into the night nor will she be transparent. I’m ok, I’m pretty much at one with my duality, and I accept that the male is always going to be there. It’s a good thing, he protects her and nurtures her. He buys her whatever she wants. He loves her very very much and is proud of her too. He lets her live.

-->Michele Angelique: Brielle you are blessed with a duality that enables you to gain satisfaction and fulfillment from within yourself. Because you embody both a man and a woman, you do not require an outside person to "complete" you. You are already complete within yourself. While I am certain that you could thrive in a love relationship with the right person, you are not someone who is searching desperately in need of a partner.

While it is natural to require human companionship, many people live with a huge void in their heart and soul, constantly looking for that "perfect" love which will fill the void. Those who are able to fill the void from within oneself are more balanced and whole. Those who forever seek but can never find this total fulfillment from outside of themselves are generally miserable and bitter.

The relationship you have between Brielle and D allows you to stand on your own two feet as a complete person, more so than an "ordinary" human being. How many marriages contain the depth of love and understanding that D and B have for each other? This is a beautiful gift, and your two amazing selves are so lucky to have each other!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

What's a Slut?

-->Brielle Whitney: After all, if you honored your female, would you be a slut?

-->Michele Angelique: I think the female persona is some form of "dream girl" embodying whatever the male-self deems most attractive or desirable. For some men, this persona is a slut (but then, what is a "slut" other than a word which has no masculine equivalent?), for others this persona is just a lovely woman expressing herself in any myriad of ways. The female self is a reflection of the male self's ideal woman, and so if he has a low impression of women, he will be more likely to dress/act in a way that demeans women. It is likely that such a person also thinks lowly of himself as a man. The girl manifest is simply some aspect of his inner-girl, for better or for worse.

On the other hand, I can't imagine anyone discovering feminine sexual power and not wanting to enjoy it. Being a sexy woman is an extremely gratifying experience because you get noticed, appreciated, and treated well by those who are attracted to you. It's hard to blame anyone for getting carried away enjoying this power, and I really don't know how to define "slut".

A couple decades ago it meant any woman who enjoyed sex, today I think it means any woman who has sex with a certain number of people within a certain time period. Some equivalent male terms for slut are "stud", "player", "loverboy", "gigalo", or just plain old "lucky". None of these terms are negative. Guys can like sex and have as much as they want with whomever they want without being considered dirty, whereas women are expected to keep their legs crossed to avoid being labeled "slut", "whore", "tramp" or "hooker".

Since I'm all about breaking down gender stereotypes, I say it should be ok for women to enjoy sex as much as men, and not be judged badly for it. Sometimes I like to look ultra-sexy, turn heads, make men turn to mush, and I wouldn't give up this power for anything. I may from time to time dress, appear or look like a "slut" because it makes me feel good and I am pleased by the impact on those around me.

The way I'm dressed will not change the fact that I only have sex with people that I truly care about, although some might assume differently based on what I am wearing on a given day. Looking sexy and being promiscuous do not necessarily go hand-in-hand, so a book cannot be judged by its cover.

So how can we define a slut?

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

You are Living Proof

One of the things I'd like to communicate with mainstream society is that transwomen operate on the basis of a deep seated love and reverence for genetic women and femininity. I am not referring to those who crossdress only as a means to attract more sex partners, because I don't view those people as transgendered. You as authentic TG women dress as a way to outwardly manifest your inner woman. You relate so closely to women because you are women on the inside. It seems to me that you as transwomen study us as genetic women because you want to be like us. You admire and respect us, holding us in higher esteem than ordinary men ever would, and perhaps higher than we have of ourselves.

The world still deems femininity to be weaker and lesser, and even women don't want to be women anymore. "Feminist" women who abdicate their own femininity and strive to emulate men support the notion that masculinity is superior to femininity. Femininity is cast aside by men and women alike, and yet YOU as transwomen are celebrating it. The risks you face in aspiring to be like women include ridicule, isolation, discrimination, persecution, violence or even death.

You defy society's premise that men are superior to women, because if it were true, people like you would not exist. You are living proof that femininity has at least as much value as masculinity. You are evidence that strong can still be beautiful. You are people with the birthright of masculinity, yet you choose to manifest femininity. To me this shows the ULTIMATE regard for women. You love women more that we love ourselves, and far more than ordinary men do.

I find this very touching, and I know other genetic women would too. They just need to understand what motivates you because it is such a miraculous and beautiful thing. This is why I revere you so deeply. I see you as a special breed of human whose time has finally come. I will do anything in my power to support you.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

Are Our Spirits Gendered?

--> Brielle Whitney: Now, on the spiritual level, if we are determined initially female, biologically, does it not then follow that the spirit imbued in us all is as well female? How can that change?... Is it not more likely that we carry that initial spark, “divine gift” as a baseline blueprint for everything else to come? BUT as we are imbued initially female spirited, where does that spirit go? So then, is it not so that out of woman, came man?

-->Michele Angelique: This is a fascinating point, which draws into question - are our spirits gendered? When I refer to yin-spirit and yang-spirit it is not a gender of spirit. Yin/yang represents the two opposing complementary symbiotic polarities in the Universe, of which gender is one of the myriad characteristics that can be described. Is there really such a thing as a male spirit or a female spirit, or do our spirits embody both genders? Hence, would not all human spirits be bi-gendered (transgendered)?

We enter a human body which exhibits the gendered form, and are expected to adhere to the stereotypical roles of that gender. Notice how every human being has some balance of both masculine/feminine traits? There is no such thing as purely masculine nor purely feminine, just as there is no such thing as purely yin nor purely yang (hence the two dots in the yin/yang symbol).

My question is whether "gender" goes so deep as to characterize our spirits, or is it something that describes just our physical bodies?

Originally posted to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

Gender Euphoria

** Gender Euphoria **

This phrase holds inherent joy, bliss and celebration. Euphoria is defined by Oxford dictionary as "a feeling of general happiness". I find this a marvelous contrast to dysphoria, "an emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease". Transgenderism is viewed by psychologists, the public at large, and even those in the TG community as a disorder. Disorders are painful, unhealthy, abnormal, and must be corrected. Whereas, a state of euphoria is something that every human being on the planet would readily adopt if it were available to them.

Everyone is looking for the "magic pill" that would cause a state of euphoria in life... it is a condition in which we would all aspire to live, if we could. If someone is so lucky as to have ready access to a natural state of euphoria, why on earth would they want to abdicate this? Those coping with "gender dysphoria" are in a state of suffering, whereas those gifted with "gender euphoria" are in a state of bliss.

Is it possible that those with gender dysphoria could naturally evolve toward gender euphoria they begin to embrace themselves?

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/gender-euphoria.html

Maturity is Key

Regarding Jenna's friend Tina's situation and the questions posed... Tina is going out at night en femme, and the wife is staying at home. Transgenderism aside, many wives would not prefer when hubby goes out for a night on the town and leaves her to stay at home alone. I don't personally believe it's right or fair for either partner to unduly restrict one another, yet each person should still be mindful not to make the other feel left out. Does Tina invite her wife to come along when she goes out?

You say that Tina is "suffering" (tongue in cheek) with gender euphoria, and you relate this to a teenage girl phase. When Tina's wife picks a fight, is it generally related to Tina's look being too young/trashy? Does the wife make any genuine effort to help Tina with her fashion choices? This might not be so bad if Tina would consider her wife's advice, and as well, it might help for the wife to feel more included. I don't regard this so much as "parental supervision", but rather as "female guidance", which could in fact be very beneficial to Tina.

If Tina can find a way to bring her wife into the transformation process, make her feel important and revered as a member of the female gender, at least half their battle will be won. Euphoria is a blissful condition... does Tina share it with her wife or does she withhold it? Does Tina seek her wife's advice on all things femme? Or does she rely more on the advice of tgirls on alt and urna?
If I were Tina's wife, I would consider this a blow to the value/credibility of my own femininity.

From the detail given in your article I am unable to form any opinion as to whether Tina's wife is reacting to Tina's transgenderism or simply to Tina's teenage girl image. I am someone who celebrates transgenderism, and yet my significant other acting/dressing like a teenage girl would become irritating to me after awhile. I enjoy lesbian sex, but sex with a teenage girl does not appeal to me at all. Regardless of our gender identities, we *are* adults here. The wife might be comfortable with the feminine expression, but not the digression in age and maturity level. She might be keen on having a ladyfriend, but not a daughter.

Does this make sense?

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/gender-euphoria.html

Seeing You Come Alive

When my friends and family ask me "why?", I've tried to explain the injustices that you face, and justify my passion for getting involved to the extent that I have. I have never felt anything so rewarding as to know that I have the power to help you and others like you, even if it is in only small ways.

To be totally honest, all my life prior to this, I have been a fairly selfish person. Everything I have done in the past has been to directly benefit myself or someone I know personally. It was not until I encountered you beautiful people that I became inspired to give of myself to a cause that is outside of my immediate realm. While my corporate finance life brings tangible monetary reward to my own life, it does not come remotely close to the satisfaction that I feel in knowing I have made someone feel as you have expressed.

Like yourselves, I am transforming. My transformation involves metamorpasizing from an introverted, self-centered, capitalist type person into someone who deeply cares and has the desire to give of myself for the good of others. Words cannot describe the good that my relationships with you are doing for my very soul... my essence is being uplifted by you each and every day.

I am happier now than I have ever been in my life, and it is because of you people. Having you in my life is the most positive force I have ever felt. In addition to being my dear friends, you are my muses, and my teachers. I learn and grow from our every interaction, and I could never thank you enough for what you are doing for me.

Watching you "came alive" as you embrace your true natures... like a brilliant butterflies emerging from their cocoons. This is most definitely cause for celebration! Life is so precious; we are never guaranteed to have tomorrow. By living for the moment, and expressing who we really are, it is easier to be thankful for our individual uniqueness. Seize the day!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/mythologically-speaking-of-course.html

Reinventing Oneself

We should resist internalizing external influences without first questioning their origin and determining if they contribute positively to our direction as an individual. Rather than taking ownership of others' standards, beliefs, fears, we should recognize that these are coming from some outside perspective which may not be right for us individually. If we can respect the diversity of individuality and view perspectives from others in such light, we can come to greater appreciation of our own personal uniqueness.

There is much to be said for individuality, and diversity should be celebrated. Ideally there would be a balance between individuality and human interaction. At some extent and degree in the pursuit of individuality, one becomes less unaware of the needs of others, possibly unable to reach out or find common ground. The result of too much focus on "self" is the loss of connection with the collective support of family, friends, groups. This could result in a feeling of isolation.

There is a balance between self actualization and collective interaction, and each person must find themselves at some point that is comfortable and healthy for them. "To thine own self be true" applies in any case where the outside influence would smash your confidence or would inhibit you from taking steps towards your goals.

Your gender transition is a phase of self actualization, where your inner girl is now beginning to evolve outwardly from the boy you've appeared as before. You are reinventing yourself. Your individual identity is in transition, so you are carefully examining the influences and messages you are receiving.

It is and will always be your choice what to accept as valid and/or right for you, and it’s especially important now. In the absence of such consideration, your individual identity would be formed haphazardly, without conscious thought, and perhaps out of balance. If we can each identify for ourselves the type of individuality to which we aspire, it is easier to measure whether any one influence contributes positively.

It's very important to surround ourselves with positive, supportive people who respect our individuality rather than try to hold us back or enforce their way of thinking. The goal is to avoid influences that hurt us, while seeking influences that help us. It may even be necessary to separate from some people and/or situations, and find new people and environments that are conducive to our positive direction and inner peace.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/resisting-influence.html

Living in Shadows

I speak of male/female personas becoming more integrated, allowing for overlap, two spirits living in harmony. This is all a beautiful dream, but today's reality does not easily permit. I hope that you will all have patience with me as I naively grasp at ideaologies, and know that I am willing to recognize the dark side too. This is part of my evolution here.

I am beginning to understand why most of you keep the yin/yang parts of you very separate and distinct, at opposite ends of the gender spectrum. Not because it is your ideal balance, but because you do not have the *freedom* to be you.

For most of you transwomen, there is very real danger of dire social consequence if your secret becomes known. If something so simple as signing your femme name accidentally could be a catastrophic event, I can understand why you live in fear. We are not in the promised land just yet, and in today's world being outed could indeed be very painful. It is important to protect yourself, and "lesson 1" is an appropriate title here.

What truly rips my heart out is the fact that your secret is not bad, wrong or dirty... you're not hurting anyone, you're enhancing yourselves. I don't see you as having a "disorder"; I see your duality as a precious gift. I am shattered at the notion that you are condemned to an existence of hiding because people do not yet understand the miraculous creations that you are.

The fog of social misunderstanding surrounding transwomen is so thick, yet it only takes a single flame to enlighten an entire room. When I hear stories like Arianne's, it makes me sad, mad, sick, overwhelmed... it makes me want to fight against whatever ugliness in the world exists to deny your basic human right to "be".

For now, we have to deal with present day realities, and do whatever is needed to be safe in today's society.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/07/evolution-lesson-1.html