Decompression

Why do transwomen speak of "decompression" and returning to the "regular" you? Must you abdicate your masculinity in order to express your femininity? Are your two selves really two different people? I doubt it very much.

You have compartmentalized your maleself vs femaleself, probably as a defensive mechanism resulting from having to hide any evidence of *her* from the world. The fact is, you are one and the same person, make-up or not. When you get home from an evening on the town, and remove your adornments, the resulting person is still you... au natural.

Instead of creating such a "build-up" to "becoming" her, why not just allow yourself to "be" her on a more regular basis? This does not have to include "every detail", but rather, just the little things. For example, do you wear a soft satiny nightie when you sleep or do you wear men's boxer shorts? Do you keep your body skin smooth? Apply fragrant body lotion? Toenails painted? Take a long bubble bath with candles? Wear lip gloss and girly hairstyles around the house? Wear women's panties under your suit? Do you do these little things for yourself? These are the kind of little things that you can do that will help to bridge the gap between your worlds.

You feel so depressed when you dismantle your femme self because you won't get to see her again for awhile. You do not have to go "all the way" male or female. If you start letting her poke her head out of the closet more frequently in smaller ways, you will find the decompression is less significant.

Darlings, accept and love yourself as "two-spirited". Allow yourself to flourish as such, without sacrificing either spirit. Both sides of you can exist simultaneously. If you will let them, both sides of you can exist harmoniously too. You are such beautiful people, all of male/female you. I think you are the total package, the full meal deal. The woman that catches you will be very fortunate indeed. Please don't ever give up hope.

(originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/07/whats-end-game.html)