Living in Shadows

I speak of male/female personas becoming more integrated, allowing for overlap, two spirits living in harmony. This is all a beautiful dream, but today's reality does not easily permit. I hope that you will all have patience with me as I naively grasp at ideaologies, and know that I am willing to recognize the dark side too. This is part of my evolution here.

I am beginning to understand why most of you keep the yin/yang parts of you very separate and distinct, at opposite ends of the gender spectrum. Not because it is your ideal balance, but because you do not have the *freedom* to be you.

For most of you transwomen, there is very real danger of dire social consequence if your secret becomes known. If something so simple as signing your femme name accidentally could be a catastrophic event, I can understand why you live in fear. We are not in the promised land just yet, and in today's world being outed could indeed be very painful. It is important to protect yourself, and "lesson 1" is an appropriate title here.

What truly rips my heart out is the fact that your secret is not bad, wrong or dirty... you're not hurting anyone, you're enhancing yourselves. I don't see you as having a "disorder"; I see your duality as a precious gift. I am shattered at the notion that you are condemned to an existence of hiding because people do not yet understand the miraculous creations that you are.

The fog of social misunderstanding surrounding transwomen is so thick, yet it only takes a single flame to enlighten an entire room. When I hear stories like Arianne's, it makes me sad, mad, sick, overwhelmed... it makes me want to fight against whatever ugliness in the world exists to deny your basic human right to "be".

For now, we have to deal with present day realities, and do whatever is needed to be safe in today's society.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/07/evolution-lesson-1.html