Michele Angelique

Sorted by Topic

2006-01-28T05:08:00.000-06:00

~ Index Sorted by Topic ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Womanhood...

* Your Own Best Girlfriend
* What's a Slut?
* SHE WHO IS
* Dressing En Femme
* Perception of Womankind
* Don't Compare Yourself

~ Society, Culture...

* Pondering Men's Liberation
* Breaking Out of the Box
* Beware of Bubba
* Poisonous Misogyny
* You are Living Proof
* Starting a Revolution

~ Trans Community...

* CD/TV/TS Labeling
* A Positive Impression
* Transwomen in the Media
* AdaraBeth's Dream

~ Relationships...

* Be the Best of Both Worlds
* Maturity is Key
* Desperately Seeking

~ Personal Growth...

* What is Character?
* Reinventing Oneself
* Gender Euphoria
* One Petal at a Time
* Transformation

~ Challenges...

* Decompression
* Living in Shadows
* Psychology 101
* How Far You've Come
* Rhenaiya the Brave

~ Inner Beauty...

* Passing the Test
* Inner Beauty
* The Truthgiver
* Forgiveness is Golden
* Alysyn the Wise
* The Value of Honesty

~ Spirit of Gender...

* New Age Spirituality
* Are Our Spirits Gendered?
* Yin-Yang GenderEvolution
* The Venus Transit Gift
* 11:11 on 11/11 of 11
* Balancing Male and Female

~ My Journey...

* I Am Finally Home
* Am I transgendered?
* The Calling
* Seeing You Come Alive
* Our Family Bond
* Love & Light From My Sisters

New Age Spirituality

2006-01-28T02:08:00.000-06:00

Upon reflection, I came to the realization that I should clarify a few things. As explained in my Venus Transit post, I come from a background of eclectic spirituality. Having recently come into the transgender community, I am making linkages between my previous spiritual learning and human gender. I am beginning to write about these connections. Each step I take along this line of pondering has lead to the revelation of avenues not previously considered.

Our keynote at GenderEvolve is "improvement of societal perception of transgenderism". In order to make progress toward this goal, it will be necessary to find support from groups outside the TG community. The starting point was GLBT. Gaining the attention and acceptance of a wider scope of people is the only evolution from this point. The New Age community holds promise in this regard.

The New Age community is based on a movement which began in the 1970’s. Included here are people of all walks of life, heritage, religion, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status. The community embraces the notion that there are many possible ways to be spiritually centered, there is no "one true way". Any type of love-based spirituality is welcomed by the New Age community.

Hence, there are a myriad of philosophies, theories, interpretations of spiritual information, both ancient and new. The New Age community does not include cults or heirarchical systems of righteous command. There are no "chosen ones", no human guru to kneel before, no need to send in your money. New Agers believe that spirituality is a personal choice, and it is up to each indivual to discern for themselves what feels right. The community is built on the premise of many possible paths to enlightenment. The one and only "rule" is love... the only step required for salvation of a human soul in the New Age is to live life from a loving perspective. Be kind, forgiving, accepting... listen to your heart, and strive to do what your heart tells you is "for the good of all and to harm none". How each person chooses to connect with God or their spirituality is a personal choice, subject only to the rule of love.

A huge number of free thinking open-minded people exist in the New Age community; people who are seeking a greater understanding and a more meaningful existence. Inherant to this genre are the type of people who would be most likely to accept, perhaps even embrace, transgenderism. We can apply the very same information the New Agers are already embracing, and applying it to transgenderism, thereby supporting a case that transgenderism is evolutionary.

If we can influence hundreds of thousands of New Agers outside the TG community to feel positively about transgenderism, the domino effect may follow. If transgendered people knew they would be welcomed en femme at New Age venues, greater social mobility would be enjoyed by the TG community. Transgendered people need not embrace New Age spirituality in order to benefit from greater acceptance, yet new horizons would open up on both sides.

The New Age community has global reach, is very diverse, and has a rapidlly growing presence which has been gaining momentum at an astonishing rate in the past 10-14 years. With influential support for gender self-expression now arising within the New Age community, yet still indirectly, the time to make this New Age / TG connection is NOW.

Continued pondering about my sudden involvement with the TG community (see my previous article "The Calling") has drawn me to the revelation that I have been called to write a book. I am to use the understanding brought by my life-long training in New Age spirituality to open a new door of acceptance for the Transgender community.

In this process, you at GenderEvolve will be the first to see my new writings as they arise. Some of the ideas presented may picque your interest, others may not. My intention is not to "convert" anyone in any way, as I completely honour your spiritual belief systems as a personal choice. If, on the other hand, this New Age information is something you would like to explore with me, your questions, comments, insights will be valued greatly. Never expected, yet always appreciated.

In addition to New Age sources, I will be actively seeking information from any established religious doctrines that can be interpreted to support a case for gender balance or self-expression (either within a person or within society at large). I am not too familiar with most of the traditional religions, so any suggestions in this area would be most welcome.

I just wanted to clarify my motivation for presenting New Age information in relation to transgenderism, in case any of you were wondering. Please don’t think I am trying to convince you of anything, or enforce a certain belief on anyone. Your beliefs are every bit as valid as mine or the next person’s... spirituality is a very personal choice which I fully respect.

Originally posted at: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/11/1111-on-1111-of-11.html

Yin-Yang GenderEvolution

2006-01-28T01:59:00.000-06:00

Felicia Conti got me to thinking when she recently sent out an email to the group entitled "The Yin and Yang of it all" in which she said: "I would say that the GenderEvolve group has both qualitative and quantitative mechanisms in place for evolving both the amount and quality of interaction of its members. It seems that quantitative research has more masculine, yang energy and that qualitative research has more feminine, yin energy, but that both are necessary for completeness."

Felicia's perspective mirrors my own. I see importance and benefit in both Yin and Yang energy, and constantly seek to combine them. The time has come to explore the connection between the Yin-Yang symbol and transgenderism.Feminine energy is attributed to Yin, and masculine attributed to Yang. Yin and Yang are interdependent and symbiotic, and can be used to describe all mutually exclusive set of opposites, including man and woman. One cannot thrive without the other. Neither is greater nor lesser than the other. Yin is attributed to the feminine energy and Yang to the masculine, and the widely accepted interpretation of Yin-Yang (appended below) can be restated as follows:

"Feminine (Yin) and masculine (Yang) are opposite energies, which are interdependent, can be further subdivided, consume and support each other, and continuously transform into one another. Female exists within male and male exists within female."

It sounds pretty simple considering it has only been around a few thousand years. In our use of the Yin-Yang symbol, the suggestion is not that anyone should “convert” to Taoism, but rather, we are "borrowing" from ancient mystical wisdom applying it in a new arena.

The fifth and sixth principle of the traditional Yin-Yang definition are both auspicious for transgendered people:

"Female (Yin) and Male (Yang) can transform into eachother."

and

"There is some Boy (Yang) in every Girl (Yin) and some Girl (Yin) in every Boy (Yang)".

These are a few of the reasons why the Yin-Yang is an appropriate TG symbol. It is a symbol representing the harmony of balanced duality, and the meaning goes further to include all points on the spectrum in between. There is no such thing as "100% pure Yang" or "100% pure Yin", as each side must contain at least a grain or more of the other in order for any balance to exist. The entire spectrum of gender possibilities can be fully described by continual transforming flow of feminine/masculine energies in the Yin-Yang symbol.

Felicia further explained the relevance of Yin and Yang to society at large and how it may apply to GenderEvolve. She said, "There has been a long standing debate in the social sciences as to whether quantitative or qualitative research is the preferred method of choice. Similarly, in nature, there has been an historical debate as to whether the masculine (yang) energy or the feminine (yin) energy should govern a society. Qualitative research is yin. It is exploratory and inductive in nature and involves analysis of data such as words (e.g., from interviews), pictures (e.g., video), or objects (e.g., an article). Quantitative research is yang. It is confirmatory and deductive in nature and involves analysis of numerical data. Actually, neither type is superior and the thinking style of the researcher or the culture of the group is a key factor in determining preferred choice of research. It is likely be helpful to combine both qualitative (yin) and quantitative (yang) research."

Combining a balanced mix of Yin and Yang energies lends to a more comprehensive perspective. The ability to understand and experience both sides leads to wholeness and completion. By functioning through both energies we can live in the beautiful range in-between, exhibiting the strengths of both feminine and masculine.

GenderEvolve is a benevolent, philanthropic entity which is borne of a special blend of Yin (qualitative) and Yang (quantitative) initiatives and efforts. This approach will promote our rapid acceleration and growth, in a soft and gentle manner which consistently upholds the spirit of light and love.

We embrace the Yin-Yang symbol in celebration of gender duality and all points of the ever transforming flow in-between. Throughout most of history, Yang energy has been over-emphasized at the expense of Yin, leading to masculine domination of societies and lack of compassion among people. While we recognize both Yin and Yang as equally necessary, we seek to personify and manifest Yin more fully in our everyday lives. By upholding the feminine Yin-spirit, we seek to bring greater balance to ourselves and the world around us.

Lau Tsu, the father of Taoism, around 500 B.C. said it best: "Know the masculine, keep to the feminine."

A new day is dawning... humans are coming to recognize the truths of ancient wisdoms, the seeds of which have been within us for millennia. It is only in this New Age of transformation and acceptance that we are now discovering how the pieces of ourselves fit together so brilliantly.

*****

Yin and Yang Defined- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_Yang

1. Yin and yang are opposites.

Everything has its opposite—although this is never absolute, only comparative. No one thing is completely yin or completely yang. Each contains the seed of its opposite. For example, cold can turn into hot; "what goes up must come down".

2. Yin and yang are interdependent.

One cannot exist without the other. For example, day cannot exist without night.

3. Yin and yang can be further subdivided into yin and yang.

Any yin or yang aspect can be further subdivided into yin and yang. For example, temperature can be seen as either hot or cold. However, hot can be further divided into warm or burning; cold into cool or icy.

4. Yin and yang consume and support each other.

Yin and yang are usually held in balance—as one increases, the other decreases. However, imbalances can occur. There are four possible imbalances: Excess yin, excess yang, yin deficiency, yang deficiency.

5. Yin and yang can transform into one another.

At a particular stage, yin can transform into yang and vice versa. For example, night changes into day; warmth cools; life changes to death.

6. Part of yin is in yang and part of yang is in yin.

The dots in each serve as a reminder that there are always traces of one in the other. For example, there is always light within the dark (e.g., the stars at night), these qualities are never completely one or the other.

*****

Love & Light From My T-Sisters

2006-01-28T01:47:00.000-06:00

Since entering the Transgender community about 9 months ago, I have been deeply moved on a daily basis by the kind and loving words these beautiful people have blessed me with. There is nothing more fulfilling to me than to know that my energy makes a difference, great or small, in the lives of so many incredible souls.

When I received the amazing testamonials that Arianne collected for my bio page, I was touched beyond words. I was so inspired, that I revisited my online guestbooks and gathered the most uplifting comments I have received from the Trans community this past 9 months. I have combined testamonials and comments together on a page on GenderEvolve entitled "Blessings of Love & Light".

This page is living testament to show just how royally my sisters of GenderEvolve and all those in the Trans community have treated me. These kind, respectful people truly make me feel like a Queen, because they are gentle spirits with strong love for femininity and women. If anyone wonders or doubts what fulfillment I could be getting from my efforts with GE, they need only read this page...

http://genderevolve.com/team/thelove.html

These words spoken about me by my T-sisters are the *Pride & Joy* of my life. On this page you can see what I consider to be the most meaningful achievement of my 32 years on this earth. I will revisit this page daily, and dwell in the loving vibrations conveyed here.

I could spend the next 50 years devoting my life to pursuing my career in corporate finance, and never earn this type of regard from fellow human beings. When I pass from this earthly plane (in about 150 years /- a few ;) these are the vibrations I will take with me forever.

With every fibre of my being, my deepest gratitude belongs to my dear transgender sisters and best friends. For those of you women and men reading this who can see the transgender beauty that I can see, welcome to a brave new world where we can ALL transcend gender and just BE who we ARE!

With love and light,
Michle Anglique

The Venus Transit Gift

2006-01-28T01:41:00.000-06:00

Last night I had an epiphany. I now understand "why". I will show you what I discovered, but first I must give you some background on where I am coming from in a spiritual sense.

I have always been a deeply spiritual person, never in the organized religion realm, but just in always "knowing" we are all here for a grand and magnificent purpose. My spiritual training began in my early childhood, around the age of 4-5. Although I was baptized Roman Catholic at the insistence of my grandparents, my parents were hippies, and thus were explorers of many belief systems outside the Christian/Catholic realm. We never practiced any form of ceremonial religion, it was always more in-depth discussions and pondering among ourselves. My early spirituality was more based on Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Paganism and Metaphysics. Our spirituality never had a "label", my parents just borrowed from various schools of thought and applied them to our daily lives.

My dad passed away when I was 10, although his presence in the early formative years of my life made a huge impact. I never stopped seeking, questioning, expanding my consciousness in the spiritual sense. In my life I have studied a brilliant mosaic of spiritual teachings from all areas of the globe. It was only in 1997 at the age of 25 that I discovered a source of spiritual wisdom that originates from a non-human source.

A friend introduced me to the channeled material of an entity known as Kryon. Kryon is not a "god", nor does it represent a "religion"; it does not ask for your "belief" nor your "conversion". Kryon simply speaks of the way of the Universe and humanity's purpose therein. Kryon speaks to humans in pure love and reverence, never condemning, never judging. Kryon is comparable to a genderless angel whose message feels more authentic and divine than anything I've experienced previously. For those who need "proof", Kryon has already told us *in advance* of multitudes of scientific, archaelogical, geographical, astronomical changes and discoveries. Now, governments and the science community are even paying close attention to the Kryon work.Kryon first touched my life in 1997, and fundamentally changed ME, my understanding, my purpose. It is because of Kryon that my entire outlook on humanity was softened from one of confused distain, inner turmoil and anger, to one of celebration, acceptance and love. A new feeling of peace and belonging filled my essence, and has never left me.

Since 1992 when Kryon began its communication with humans, its teachings have become a paramount force in the New Age community. Kryon is in print worldwide, and has been hosted by the United Nations on four occasions to address the world community. Kryon has become integral to the New Age movement, which has rapidly grown over the past 20 years to now include tens if not hundreds of millions of people.

Kryon has changed millions of lives, and can be credited as the spiritual source behind my own involvement in GenderEvolve. I have always been what Kryon refers to as a "Lightworker", and upon discovering the transgender community, I am putting down roots and becoming a "Lighthouse". Finding a "cause" didn't surprise me really, but what was still confusing me and my family/friends was "why transgender?", why not "something else?".

Last night I read a Kryon channeling that I had not read before. It speaks of the Venus Transit, which is known to science as Venus retrograde. This is happening for the 8 year period between 2004-2012. Kryon explains the energy of the Venus transit, and after reading this, my involvement with the TG community makes sense to me now... and so will it make sense to the millions of New Age community, just as soon as they make the connection between the following Kryon words, and the TG community. This is something we can hang our hats on, and gain a huge pocket of support in the New Age community! Kryon, which has millions of supporters worldwide, celebrates transgendered people! This is huge!

What this means to US is that the energy of the world is right for tremendous change! Our message will ring true, will be heard loud and clear, and will be both embraced and celebrated. I now understand "why" the transgender cause has compelled me so intensely... it's because the time for change is NOW, this is the WINDOW, and I could instinctively FEEL it. It is no wonder that I as a lightworker heard THE CALLING! Other lightworkers like myself will also feel it! I now know my purpose here among you, and my inspiration has been brought to new heights.

It is in this light which I present to you the following excerpt from a Kryon channeling in regard to the Venus Transit. To visit Kryon on the web, go to http://www.kryon.org/ ...

****

Excerpted from Kryon Summer Light Channeling, June 2004

"... Venus, who's known to have the energy of the Goddess of Love. It's not an accident that those in mythology named it this. In the mythology, the lover [Venus] disappears for a number of days [which you call the retrograde], while it transits between your planet Earth and the sun.

The energy being transmitted to this planet now, and for the next eight years, is a loving feminine balance of love. You're going to see a balance take place that you've never seen in your lifetime. It's a balance of both Gaia and the Human in a new way.

At the moment, your earth isn't balanced. It's masculine-heavy. This has nothing to do with your gender. There is masculine and feminine energy in every Human. No matter what your gender is, the most balanced man reading and hearing this is one who has the balance of the feminine and the masculine, equally. The most balanced woman listening and reading is the one who has the masculine and the feminine equally balanced in their lives.

You've grown up on a planet where the balance hasn't been equal, and where the masculine energy has far outweighed anything else. Now, due to your efforts, the consciousness changes on Earth. The beginning of this was the 11:11, then the 12:12, then the Concordance. Now the new window brings in the best yet! Because of the new path you took, it demanded the energy of the eight. The balance and the responsibility being delivered to this planet, therefore, is energy that will eventually balance this planet, masculine and feminine.

What a change this has the potential to make! Let me tell you, there will be those who will go crazy with this new potential. It doesn't fit them and it doesn't fit what they consider to be their reality. I'll make two statements, and both of them will be of the kind called "unbelievable."

(1) Masculine-heavy governments won't be able to exist on the planet.

(2) No masculine-heavy religion will be able to exist on this planet.

Neither one can be supported, and they won't make sense to a changing consciousness. They'll fall into the ashes of civilization. Remember that. I'll say it again before I'm done. This is the profound time we talked about that was coming.

The new news is that you're rewriting the masculine/feminine balance of this planet with the help of a new energy being delivered through the Venus Transit and the opening of this eight-year window."...

*****

Originally posted at: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/09/venus-transit-gift.html

Mystery of Transformation

2006-01-27T04:59:00.000-06:00

The Butterfly Chrysalis

During the time that a caterpillar egg is an egg, it looks nothing like a caterpillar, and the butterfly seems a far cry from the larva that precedes it. Do caterpillars recognize butterflies as their future selves? Do butterflies identify caterpillars as past relations? The most mysterious phase of this shape-shifting creature's process is the chrysalis, the jade green cocoon in which the crawling, leaf-eating caterpillar transforms into a floating, nectar-drinking butterfly.

In our human lives, we sometimes find ourselves in the chrysalis state. During those times we don't have much to offer the outside world because, whether we realize it or not, much of our energy is consumed with an inner transition. We might feel sluggish or disinterested in the outside world. We might feel impatient with ourselves, wondering why we don't have the energy we used to for our usual routines. But if we remember the chrysalis-the dark, inner sanctum that provides the environment for a remarkable conversion-we can relax and let ourselves be, finding ways to support our process rather than cajoling ourselves out of it.

If you see a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, the temptation may be to help it break out. But the physical challenge of this part of the process is necessary for the butterfly to build its strength so that it can survive outside the chrysalis. The same is true of us. Sometimes we have to labor on our own to discover the force we need to be our new selves in the world.

Similarly, when seeing friends or family members struggling, it's easy to become impatient and want to help with their emergence, but we have to learn to let others make their own way. Taking on the challenge of liberating ourselves directly enables us to thrive in our new freedom. Sometimes the greatest supports we can offer others and ourselves are patience and quiet confidence in the process unfolding, along with faith that the result will be extraordinary.

~ from http://www.dailyom.com/

One Petal at a Time

2006-01-27T04:55:00.000-06:00

Thank you Miranda for sharing your perspective. I must say, after reading "Miss Fiorella TS Essay" I certainly understand why you were pondering when you wrote this. I was only able to get half-way through her article before the bile started rising in my throat. This is not a pleasant read, my dear! The author is so bitter, so harsh, so misfortunate. She labels transgendered people into cut-and-dried categories, then proceeds to rant on about the trials and tribulations of every TS's life.

She makes it seem that a huge fatalistic choice must be made, throwing one's life completely away, describing every possible worst-case scenario, as though it were most likely to happen. She makes no allowance for living a harmonious duality of male/female, compares supportive partners to "winning a lottery", and is harshly pessimistic about the ability of a TS person to maintain any part of the former male life (ie: marriage, career, family). I simply couldn't read the whole article, it was too discouraging. No wonder you felt beat-up!

I think part of your angst stems from this internal pressure that your TG journey should follow a linear progressive path toward some end. It may be due to your inner drive and self-competitive nature where you always want to beat your last best score. It seems you either want to take Miranda to some different level, or shut her out altogether. Perhaps it is possible to focus more in the moment, just dwelling today on the feminine gifts that you already have, rather than wishing for something else. Let your feminine energy flow naturally, and let its warmth envelope you, rather than trying to push/pull it in some certain direction.

Wherever your lifepath takes you, Miranda will be there too. No matter whether you choose to keep her inside, or bring her out on the surface, her presence lives within you. You mention fast losing interest in the internet and virtual female existence, yet this is the only self-expression that Miranda has at the moment. Every time you go online, Miranda takes a breath of air. Maybe she's bored, but at least she's breathing! And remember, you don't have to be "dressed" to be her... gender is 98% in the brain, the rest is just icing on the cake.

This being said, is there any way you could take time to dress up once in awhile? As Adara mentioned, self-empowerment is required in some situations. You feel disempowered right now because you don't have the same career position as you once did, yet you still have the right to *be* who you are. Such personal choices as dressing and esthetics do not harm anyone, so you should take the liberty to do what makes you happy. If you are happy, you will be a better spouse and parent. This is a win-win cycle. When pondering how far to allow Miranda to come out, remember there is a big spectrum of options in between occasional CD'ing and full time transitioning.

Just relax dear, don't be so goal-oriented. You don't need to make any big life-altering decisions right now. Just blossom into your femininity one petal at a time.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2006/01/on-golden-pondering.html

Balancing Male and Female Energies

2006-01-27T04:45:00.000-06:00

The following article, "Balancing Male and Female Energies", is exerpted from meta-religion.com, a popular New Age source. The message is delivered by Germane, a group consciousness energy, through clairvoyant Lyssa Royal. It provides a powerful framework for harmonization of our male and female selves through meditation and creative visualization. The approach presented applies to all gender orientations.

~ Offered in Sisterhood, Love & Light by Michele Angelique, GenderEvolve.com

* * *

Balancing Male and Female Energies

Germane: All right, greetings to all of you. This is Germane. Pleasure to be with you today. Are you here? All right. Just making sure we went to the right dimension.

Now, you've read the subject for tonight - balancing the male and female energies. We're going to give you a little analogy to start off with. Imagine the batteries you have that run your tape recorders. One end is negative; one end is positive. Now, it doesn't mean that the negative end is bad or the positive end is good, but that they are opposite charges. Both charges are necessary to run the tape recorder.

This reality you live in is a polarized reality. It has charges just like that battery. There are many different ways to categorize those two charges, like yin and yang, but tonight we're going to talk about the masculine/feminine as the battery that fuels your universe.

Each of you, then, has masculine and feminine energy within you. Together those energies act like a battery. They are the fuel that allows you to be who you are in this dimension. We want to get you really familiar with these two charges and allow you to develop an intimate relationship with them. As you develop an intimate relationship with the masculine and the feminine within yourself, this allows for the ultimate balance, the ultimate integration of your energies in this dimensional reality.

So, even though it's uncharacteristic for us, we're going to begin with a meditation. The reason for this is that some of the things you discover in this meditation you might want to refer to during the session. So get yourselves comfortable.

Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Place the beautiful golden-white Light around your body. Feel yourself relax into that Light. We're going to do a brief chakra exercise.

* Place your attention at the base of your spine. Place there a beautiful ball of red energy. Allow that ball of red energy to begin spinning slowly.

* Then, place your attention about three inches below your navel. Place there a beautiful ball of orange energy. Allow that ball of energy to spin slowly.

* Then, place your attention at your solar plexus. Place there a beautiful ball of yellow energy. Allow that ball of energy to begin spinning slowly.

* Then, place your attention at your heart. Place there a beautiful ball of green energy. Allow that ball of energy to begin spinning slowly.

* Then, place your attention at your throat. Place there a beautiful ball of blue energy. Allow that ball of energy to begin spinning slowly.

* Then, place your attention at your third eye between your brows. Place there a beautiful ball of indigo energy. Allow that ball of energy to begin spinning slowly.

* Then, place your attention at the top of your head. Place there a beautiful ball of violet energy. Allow that ball of energy to begin spinning slowly.

~Imagine that you are walking down a long hallway. At the end of the hallway is a closed door. Allow yourself to put your hand on the doorhandle. Open the door and walk inside. You are now in a large room. In the center of the room is a beautiful, large, ornate mirror. Allow yourself to walk and stand in front of the mirror. The reflection looking back at you is the one you see every day. But now we're going to ask you to do an exercise with us.

Consciously change the reflection in the mirror to one of masculine energy. This means if you are female, see yourself as male. If you are male, see yourself as even more masculine than you feel you are in your daily life. Change this image into an image of masculinity down to the most minute detail possible. All the while remember, this is you - this is your masculine self. We will give you a moment to look at this image of yourself and begin to feel comfortable with it.

Now reach your hand into the mirror and take the hand of the masculine image in yours. Pull this masculine self out of the mirror so that he stands in front of you. Imagine that a beam of green energy connects your heart with his heart. Then take him into an embrace. As you embrace, feel that the boundaries between you are lessening. Feel the blending of your energies together. You blend so much that finally you stand simply embracing yourself.

Now turn and walk out of the room the way you came, back into the hallway and close the door. Next to that door is another door. Allow yourself to put your hand on the handle. Open that door and walk inside. In that room also stands a large, ornate mirror. Walk up to the mirror and stand looking at your usual reflection. Now, consciously begin to change that reflection into one of feminine energy. If you are female, make the reflection even more feminine. If you are male, make the reflection your female counterpart. Change the reflection to the smallest detail possible. We will give you a moment to become familiar with this feminine self.

Now, reach your hand into the mirror and take the hand of the feminine image. Pull the feminine image out from the mirror so that she stands in front of you. Imagine that there's a beam of green energy connecting both of you at the heart. Then take this feminine image into an embrace. As you embrace, feel that the boundaries between you are lessened. Finally there are no boundaries. You have become one, and you stand embracing yourself.

Allow yourself to walk out of the room the way you came. Close the door behind you. Feel your consciousness begin to come back to the room here. Feel your body here in the physical universe. When you feel ready, you may open your eyes.

-- These Archetypes Are Our Friends --

You've just been introduced to two friends who live within you. No matter what you do in your life, these friends will always be there. We can call these the male and female archetypes. In your own time, in your own contemplation, think about how easy it was to visualize the male or the female. Were there problems with either of them? Was one easier than the other? If you had one that was more difficult to visualize, perhaps that's one that you may want to work on at some point.

These male and female archetypes are like the battery that runs your tape recorder. They live within you. Now this doesn't mean that you're going to stay polarized within these archetypes forever. No. But when you truly befriend each archetype, casting light onto them so there are no shadows, it is then that integration can truly occur.In our perception, this is one of the most important things in terms of growth, that all of you can be working on right now.

Notice we said one of the most important things; because the male-female balance is also reflected in your planet. As you know, your planet has been polarized more toward the masculine for quite some time. Now, in this time, the feminine energy is rising within all of you but the planet does not know, from its masculine point of view, how to integrate that feminine energy. So that's why you're seeing a lot of different struggles in the family system in cultures all over your planet that are trying to break out of their old societal patterns.

-- Heal the Self First --

We've said so many times that when you want to heal the planet, the first thing to do is to begin healing the self. So if you want to balance the energy on the planet, balance your energy within. We have all sorts of exercises that can help you with this. Some of them are rather fun, but they require you to be a little playful and a little bit courageous. So, assuming that all of you want to be playful and all of you want to be courageous...do you? [Yes.] All right. We're going to give you one to help you get in touch with the masculine/feminine within you in the physical universe, now that we've allowed you to touch them in the archetypal universe.

-- Play-act the Opposite Polarity --

If you are a female, one day when you have some errands to run, allow yourself to dress in the most masculine style possible. When you're walking down the street, pretend you're a man. Consider what a man would feel going to get a newspaper. What would a man feel going into a restaurant for lunch? Play-act and become a man; you can have a lot of fun with this. A very feminine woman who did the exercise said she felt powerful. After that she had, in her estimation, no problem in expressing her masculine side.

If you are a man, we're not going to tell you to wear a dress, so don't worry. If you're a man and you're going out to do some errands, dress in the most androgynous way possible so that you feel neither male nor female. When you're walking down the street, imagine that you are a woman. What would it feel like to be a woman getting the newspaper? What would it feel like to be a woman going into a restaurant? Again, this will require you to play-act, pretend. It's important that you allow yourself to have fun when you're doing this, because if you take it too seriously, you don't feel the energy as much.

Now, we're going to reverse it. If you are female, and you're going out to run some errands, dress yourself in the most feminine way possible, more so than you usually do. Accentuate your feminine energy. When you're doing your errands, feel that light, feminine energy more than you usually do. If you're male, dress yourself in the most masculine way possible - cowboy boots maybe, hats...you'd have to answer that question. When you walk down the street, feel really butch, really masculine. See what that brings up in you.

As you do these exercises, pay attention to what you have trouble with, what was easy for you. You may even want to keep a journal in order to document them. Just do it. Doing these exercises is like sticking your finger into an electric socket. We guarantee you that if you do them seriously and playfully, you're going to feel energetic changes. You're going to learn an awful lot about yourself.

-- Develop a Relationship --

One of the reasons we introduced you to your internal male and female archetypes is that we'd like you to develop an ongoing relationship with them. You know, children have imaginary friends; there's no reason why adults can't have them too, although they're not really imaginary.
So, pretend that this male you saw in the mirror and this female you saw in the mirror are real people who live inside of you. The first thing we're going to ask you to do is to give them names. You can choose the name. It really doesn't matter, but make sure it is something you're comfortable with because you're going to want to refer to these people many times in the future, for they are real people inside of you.

Now, we're also going to ask you, if you want to do this, to begin carrying on imaginary dialogue with them. When you're standing and doing the dishes, think of Mary, your inner female and talk to her. Maybe you feel you're having trouble with your feminine energy, so ask Mary for advice. Ask Mary what she would do in a certain situation. Imagine her response. Do the same thing with your inner male. We'll call him Joe. When you haven't been assertive enough, ask Joe how to be assertive. Ask him for advice. I

f you develop really strong relationships with these inner archetypes, we absolutely guarantee you that you're going to begin to transform. The people who have worked with these exercises have had dramatic changes in the areas of their lives where they felt they were weak. So if you really want to accelerate your growth, try it out and see what happens.

-- The Time is Now --

In a sense, there's no more time for fooling around. Many of you who have been involved in the New Age movement for quite some time have been getting yourselves ready for the time when it was really going to count - when it was really going to matter. All through the 80's and even the early 90's, you've been getting ready. The time you've been getting ready for is now. When you actively take part in your growth, when you're ready to look at everything, including the shadows, you're going to accelerate very fast, and you're going to become the person you've always hoped you would become. The time is now.

All of you who are alive now chose your incarnations so that you would be here now. This is because now is the time of transformation. Beginning in 1993, everything you do and say is going to count more than it ever has before. Now we don't want to sound so serious. Have some fun with it too.

-- You Are Filled With the Energies of Transformation --

When we look at your energy fields, we see butterflies just ready to come out of the cocoon. We sense a tremendous amount of energy locked within each of you; not that you're blocking it, but that tremendous energy inside is the energy of transformation. You may not notice in your daily life that you're transforming, and you may not believe us when we tell you that you are, but you are. Transformation is a relative thing. Often you cannot see where you've been and where you're going. But in this room, there's much energy for transformation.

All of you are at a turning point. This is the point of power. Use it wisely. Use it joyfully. Even if you are afraid of your transformations, do not allow your fear to keep you immobile, for the most important thing you can do is act, rather than staying still.

So, that is our discourse for tonight.
http://www.meta-religion.com/Paranormale/Other/balancing_male_and_female_energi.htm

* * *

Germane Through Lyssa Royal:Germane, a group consciousness energy, states that "his" orientation is from a realm of integration that does not have a clear-cut density/dimensional level. The term "germane" in the English language means "significant relevance" or "coming from the same source". Germane therefore chose this term to somewhat personify his energy. Neither male nor female, he views us as evolving to become him as we begin the process of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual integration, which leads us back to the Source of All.

* * *

Don't Compare Yourself

2006-01-27T04:35:00.000-06:00

Darlings... the insecurity that some of you feel when in the presence of a beautiful woman is common to females. However, it is a common *weakness* among the feminine gender, not one to be emulated, but rather something to overcome. The dark energies of jelousy and malice stem from insecurity, and it is the poison tears womankind apart.

If not for this weakness among women, we could have solidarity, unity, of the feminine gender. Imagine the power! If women could only let go of this self-destructive attribute called insecurity... for goodness sake, transwomen, do not fall into this trap!

You feel jealous in the presence of beautiful genetic women, to whom you believe this beauty "comes so easily". Consider this my friends... these women have been developing their femininity all their lives. It's *not* just so easy, it takes years and years practice... and the real artform comes in appearing to be "not even trying".

When you see women who seem to have femininity so easily, remember that they have been working at honing their feminine grace to look like their "not even trying" since they were a toddler. It is not uncommon for a feminine woman to devote 2-3 hours per day, every day of her teen and adult life, to mastering this "not even trying" style and grace.

Presuming you as transwomen have not been at it quite so long or so consistently, why compare yourself to them? They may have the equivalent to a Ph.D. in femininity, while you are still working on high school or undergrad studies.

Instead of feeling insecure, jelous, or unworthy, rather look at these women as a source of inspiration. Study them, and learn. Accelerate your own understanding of femininity by seeking to replicate them. Trust me, that "not even trying" femininity takes a lot of practice.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2006/01/interesting-revelation.html

The Value of Honesty

2006-01-27T04:29:00.000-06:00

Sharon Williams made a very important point about honesty, to which every self-admitted transgendered person can relate. In order to acknowledge and realize one's transgendered state, a certain level of self-honesty is required. All of our TG sisters have already crossed this bridge, a step which took tremendous courage. Yet, this is only the first step.

Next comes honesty about one's own feelings, behaviors, needs and dreams. Self-Realization occurs because of honesty and fulfillment comes from action based on honesty. In order to fully embrace oneself, it is necessary to honestly look at everything, including the dark. Every person has strengths and weaknesses, talents and failings, hope and despair. It requires honesty to admit the full spectrum of reality to oneself. Avoidance of truth due to inner fear will only make the dark grow stronger. Rather than working desperately to avoid the dark, use honesty to help shed light on those areas. Honesty with other people is critical for so many reasons.

I would venture that perhaps no other single factor will determine success or failure in human relations. Honesty is the key element of trust. To be dishonest violates trust, and any relationship will begin to break down without trust. Our word is our bond. Without our word, we have nothing. Whatever we say, let it always be true.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2006/01/honesty.html

*****

Further to this topic of honesty, I am appending an email written just today by Lacey Leigh (www.laceyleigh.com ) which applies so perfectly to our conversation.

TheSuccessfulCrossdresser@yahoogroups.com, "Michelle N Mara" wrote:

> You pass, you have them fooled, and then you go and ruin *it* after
> you had *it* by telling them,......... why?
> > All I could think of was...."but, I'm not *trying to fool them*, I'm
> just trying to be a woman, because I see myself that way, and feel
> that way".
> > Again she said, "but why tell them"? I couldn't answer her.
> > Lacey....anyone......is there an answer? I see what she is saying
> about it being a harmless deception, or not really a deception in a
> case like this. But.......is there an answer?

Michelle,They expect you to stay 'cloaked' because that's what they've been led to believe we should do. When you're 'supposed' to feel ashamed of who you are, you're expected to keep a low profile. They are still in the binary gender - either/or - mindset. If you're out of sight, they don't have to think about it. Your example illustrates otherwise. By being upfront about it, you're shifting the perception and being the change you wish to see.

Why? Because it's honest.

As you can see, the reaction to your honesty is sometimes curiosity, surprise, and confusion. But your cards are on the table and no one will get angry because they feel misled or fooled or deceived.

Why? Because it's making a difference.

There are now several additional people who have encountered an upbeat, unapologetic transgendered person - an image that will surely replace the dysfunctional model they've been led to believe. This is a good thing.

Why? Because it's personally empowering.

Because we are *not* women - but males with an abundance of 'feminine' aspects of personality. Learning to express and explore these facets of character help us grow. But not if we are in a sheltered, 'pretend' mode. It serves us well to accept who we are, in reality - as opposed to fantasy - and then to celebrate all of it.

Wishing you success,
Lacey Leigh
--Author of "7 Secrets of Successful Crossdressers"
http://www.LaceyLeigh.com

Perception of Womankind

2006-01-27T04:25:00.000-06:00

Devi thank you so much for this beautiful and thoughtful contribution! The title "Shades of Pink" is perfect for the context of your article. While pink is often thought to represent femininity, it can also be perceived as a blend of the color of love (red) and the color of light (white). In other words, Pink = Light + Love... what a glorious framework for the celebration of transgender expression. Your article conveys a sense of inner peace and emotional balance, which is what we all are striving for.

I really appreciate your use of the term "shades of..." as it seems among the transgendered community, there are no absolutes. The transgender umbrella includes a broad spectrum, with individuals representing every point. Many will even move from one shade to another as they evolve along their journey. Where the typical inclination has been to try and apply hard-and-fast labels to explain individual TG behavior (CD/TV/TS), your "shades" approach is all inclusive and gives recognition to the dynamic nature of the trans community. "Shades" corresponds so well with the message of your article because you are identifying the fluidity and progression of your own transgender expression. Among the beautiful transgendered ones, no two shades are exactly the same.

Those among the TG community have many commonalities, yet the differences are even greater. You do an excellent job of identifying the main areas of difference being the shades of origin, self-acceptance, motivation, expression, and contentment. Everyone within the community has a different perspective, or shade, within these areas. It is fascinating to think of the diversity that exists within these common realms.

I think you hone in on a very profound truth with this statement:"I believe that individual self acceptance follows when one genuinely treats the gender they are expressing as equal to their biological one. If a man sees the feminine as the 'weaker' or any other similar pejorative, his own en femme expression would reflect that, and affect 'his' ability to accept 'her'."

I think you hit the nail on the head Devi. In my opinion, the primary reason M2F transgenderism is considered "unnatural" by society at large is the deeply ingrained belief that women are inferior to men. Women wanting to be more like men seems readily understood and accepted, given men's "superior" status in the eyes of prevalent religion and culture. A woman wanting to be more man-like is considered a natural aspiration to greatness. Whereas, a man wanting to be more woman-like is perceived as weakness or perversion.

I think a man's perception of women this is the singlemost important determinant of his level of comfort and pride in his transgender experience. Those who perceive woman as equal will not experience the same level of guilt and shame in expressing femininity, whereas a man with ingrained beliefs that women are inferior will fight against his feminine tendencies, perhaps even to the point of loathing and/or abusing his femme self. No man can be blamed for this internal struggle, as this gender disparity has existed within the human race since the dawn of time it seems.

For those transgendered people who feel this guilt, shame, self-hatred, the healing can begin with looking deeply into ones own individual perception of womankind. How one feels about his inner woman will be a direct reflection of how he feels about the female gender at large.

One of the quotes we have on GenderEvolve elucidates perfectly this very point..."A man will treat a woman almost exactly the way he treats his own interior feminine. In fact, he hasn't the ability to see a woman, objectively speaking, until he has made some kind of peace with his interior woman." Robert Johnson

Again, thank you so much Devi for contributing this uplifting and enlightening article. I very much enjoyed experiencing a glimpse of your particular shade, and think you are truly brilliant!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/12/shades-of-pink.html

Psychology 101

2006-01-27T04:21:00.000-06:00

Thank you to Annette for posting M2F2M. The topic of changing back after transitioning is not one I have seen readily discussed in too many TG forums. While there must be some who have regrets after transition, it seems few speak openly about these feelings, let alone transition back. This is a sad story, and quite likely very rare.

I can't help but wonder if there isn't an undertone of psychological disorder in this individual? He was hospitalised on more than one occasion due to his state of mind. There may be cases where the person is "diagnosed" transsexual, when their gender focused behaviors are actually resulting from an underlying mental illness.

While my depth of knowledge in this area is limited to only a few psychology classes in university, I can cite a some examples where an underlying mental illness could lead to a gender-identity crisis.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) leads an individual to fixate on a specific detail, either about themselves or their environment. They may engage in repetitive or unusual behaviors in order to remedy the "problem". In some cases that fixation may be their gender, or a specific body part attribute such as their penis or body hair.

Depressive disorder leads an individual to excessive self-critism, hopelessness, feelings of inadequacy. Often people who are severely depressed wish they were someone else, or dead. A very depressed person may lead themself to believe that if only they could take on a whole new body, life would get better.

Mania is the other side of depression, and some people are "bi-polar" (both manic and depressive, in turn). When a person is manic, they may have delusions of grandeur, they may take excessive risks, engage in outlandish or sexually promiscuous behavior, often in the guise of an alter-ego character. Why not that of a woman?

Body Dismorphia is a condition where the individual perceives some part of their body to be inherantly defective, to the point of causing grave distress, where no actual deformity or flaw exists. People afflicted with this condition will often be anorexic or bullemic, engage in excessive surguries or grooming rituals, and go to extreme lengths to conceal or correct the flaw. To such a person, there may be one flaw, or multiple, and in some cases the perceived flaw shifts from one body part to the next depending on the individuals mood. The perception of the penis as a deformity may in some individuals stem from body dismorphia rather than gender disphoria.

These are just a few examples of mental illnesses that may account for people who rush into full SRS then later realize it was the wrong decision. In some people, treating the underlying mental illness may alleviate the gender discomfort. Unfortunately in other cases, an underlying mental illness may go undiagnosed, and the person finds themself just as unhappy in the female mode as they were in male. I suspect this is the case for poor Sam. Fortunately there are medications which help to treat or effectively cope with any of the above.

Individuals who are mentally and emotionally balanced while transitioning are much more likely to be make decisions they can live with for the long term. It should be clearly understood that changing one's sex will not automatically change one's life. Others who are on a wild roller-coaster ride, whose lives revolve around their gender issues, with turmoil and instability all around, and who feel the need to suddenly and urgently rush into full transition, are more likely to change their minds and regret their decisions later. It is this latter group that I would tend to look more carefully and question the underlying cause of their behavior. These are the people I would urge to consider alternative treatment options. If there is an underlying mental illness such as those described above, hormones will actually worsten the condition.

There is no magic pill... all that hormones or surgury can do is provide a different (hopefully improved) vehicle in which to drive forth. It's up to the driver whether to put the stilleto to the metal, or sit in idle waiting for miracles. People who have this in perspective are more likely to enjoy a successful transition.

Thanks again to Annette for sharing this unique perspective. It definitely merits pondering by anyone who is considering permanently changing their gender.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/12/m2f2m.html

Dressing En Femme

2006-01-27T04:12:00.001-06:00

One thing I have in common with transladies is the love of feminine dressing. I’d like to share my own girl-woman dressing evolution, and explain how dressing has impacted me. I understand completely why you need this feeling because I need it too. I may well need it so much as to be unhealthy. Yet I’m genetically female, so my excessive dressing habits are “normal”. My love of feminine dressing energy was a factor that drew me to the transgender community. With my love of feminine dressing, I know that if I’d have been born male I would be a t-girl.

The joy of feminine dressing runs deep for me. I’ve always been a girly-girl. As a little girl I loved doing fun girlstuff like playing “dolls” or “house” or “dressup”. Every day I would enjoy having my long hair done in french braids, pigtails or half-up half-down, and would always request the ribbons and barrettes. I wore a dress at every possible opportunity, complete with pretty tights, shiny shoes, even cute frilly panties.

I remember one of the most important qualities of a dress was its spin factor… the degree to which it would twirl outward. When I would wear a twirly dress, I would spin myself round and round, mesmerized by the fabric of my dress flowing outward. I would insist on demonstrating the twirl of my dress to anyone who would pay mind to me. Of course, in doing this I would invariably become dizzy and fall down on the floor with my cheeks all flushed, giggling hysterically.

In my perfect little world, I would have dressed femme every day. My mom set limits in this area because she wanted me to have a diversity of interests (thankfully!). Plus it was probably a lot more trouble for her to dress me up like the little doll I wanted to be, than on those days when I was resigned to more practical attire. I was always lucky enough to be able to negotiate the dressup at least a few times a week, so I certainly didn’t suffer.

Part of why I was so drawn to dressing girly was the notable positive reaction from those around me. When I would dress up pretty, I would get more attention, and people seemed generally more receptive to me. Before the age of 5, I already had an inkling of the power of feminine beauty and charm. I would work my little girl “cuteness” to the maximum (or so I supposed). Being a girl definitely had its advantages, yet I grew up in an era and place where girls basically had “equal” status to boys. I got to enjoy the fun of being a girl, while having the same opportunities boys had. I know how fortunate I am for having experienced this.

As I moved into my teen years, dressing was still a huge part of my life, although it took on a different form. No longer did I want to be girly. Instead I wanted to be SEXY and BAD. So I experimented with my look, constantly changing styles. At the age of 13 my look was inspired directly by Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”. I got into sexy dresses and mini-skirts, lace nylons and gloves, scarves, ripped up clothing mostly all black, with white, red or hot pink accents. Makeup became my new-found obsession, which I applied to excess, and in every manner of experimentation I could conceive. My hair was always wild and huge, often different colors, punked out in any variant of ways. Jewelry was overdosed upon, earrings, chains, rings, bracelets… and accessories, belts, chains… and footwear, heels always, preferably something saucy and spiky (I still enjoy the dominant power of the heel click factor), rain, snow, whatever, reason and practicality be damned!

By the age of 16, I began to emerge from the wild-child phase, and become more of a young lady. The dressing was still a big part, but again, it took on a different form. I began to have a taste for more elegant styles, subdued yet always quite feminine. Deeply ingrained in my psyche by this time was the daily ritual of styling and curling my long hair and applying full makeup, and I would spend anywhere from 1-3 hours per day on dressing and beautification.

Not much has changed in my 32 years as a female, only the emergence of my different dressing styles. My love for feminine beauty and dressing has remained constant in my life. As you may have noticed from my pictures, I still dress up and experiment with my look often. On a daily basis, I still perform the beauty ritual, even if I’ve no plans to leave the house. It’s something I need, I crave, and I indulge perhaps to a fault.

Mirror, mirror on the wall… it has always been my best friend and my worst enemy.The self-adornment options available to females are endless. Fashion choices are bounded only by imagination, and undergarments alluring and sexy. Proper makeup can conceal almost any “flaw” and hair can be styled in a plethora of ways (with wigs as an alternative). Women’s jewelry is pretty, dainty, sparkly, eye-catching. Shoes and accessories are available in literally millions of different designs.

For men, the options are not even 1% of what is available to women. Men have to just accept themselves in a totally natural state, with very little opportunity for improvement beyond a certain point. Women have the opportunity to enhance and maximize our outer appearance, transforming ourselves into whatever image we want to portray. As women, we have available a whole spectrum of identity crafting tools to which men are not permitted.

What is needed on both sides of the equation is balance. Women are fortunate to have all the trappings of beautification available to them, yet it’s a two edge sword. Women who dress to excess may hinge a great degree of self-confidence on outer appearance. I must confess to falling into this category, as for many years I would not leave the house without my “mask”. I have come to realize that I feel like a different person when dressed, partially because of the vastly different outside reaction when dressed vs. drab.

Not only must I care far too much about approval from strangers, but I need to also understand that it’s just window dressing, costuming even. The makeup isn’t ME. When dressing must occur before self-confidence kicks in, it can’t be healthy. This is my challenge.The other side of the coin is men, who are not allowed by society to modify their appearance at all. Even if their outside does not match who they are inside, they must settle for the basics. Men are relegated to a very narrow set of boundaries in terms of self-expression.

Society condones men becoming physically fit, smelling good and being well groomed, but that’s about it. Any further measures to improve ones appearance are frowned upon. It seems so inequitable compared to women’s opportunities in this area.

Due to my own love for dressing, my sense of fairness, and my belief in gender equality, I could never condemn a man for (cross)dressing. In fact, I very much enjoy interacting with men who dress. I never imagined there could be men who would bridge this gap, and truly understand what women go through in regard to the beautification ritual. Too many times in my life I have heard from an ordinary man “why does it take you so long to get ready? can’t you just throw on some jeans? hurry up! c’mon lets go!” who upon getting his wish might say something to the effect of “well geez, you’re not really going out looking like THAT are you?” Never again will I hear these words, thankfully.

Men who dress have an appreciation for all the little details that go into the process, and will notice the effort in a positive light. Men who are clueless about dressing assume women roll out of bed looking like this. Men who dress present a most refreshing evolution from the status quo of men. These are the people who are bridging the gender gap, and whose courage will be the foundation for true equality between man and woman.

Originally posted to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/12/for-love-of-dressing.html

AdaraBeth's Dream

2006-01-27T04:08:00.000-06:00

Adara Beth, I love your dream...

Many near-death experiences have brought you to the point where you no longer want to surpress or deny a part of you that is very real... a part that has so long been aching for recognition. You are now on the path of self-actualization by learning to embrace yourself fully. As you come to love both sides of yourself equally, your balance will emerge, allowing you to be the best possible YOU... a person with the best of masculine and feminine traits, and who, because of a full acceptance of gender qualities, also empathises with the weaknesses inherant in each.

AdaraBeth's dream is that we should accept, embrace and be proud of who we are, not try to hide in a closet. She is saying that the more of our transgendered sisters who come out to positively represent in a public way, the easier the dream will be to achieve.

I embrace her dream whole-heartedly, and would like to add to that... for some, venturing out in public is not an option. Even these sisters can participate in a big way, via the internet. I am so proud of each and every person in this group, as all are doing exactly that. What you are doing with your online presence is reflecting positively on the TG community. It's bound to flow into lots of other areas, I am confident.

If it is possible for you to get out and about en femme, do consider it more often, and to more public venues. I believe you would find it to be a personally liberating experience, and that the vast majority of people would treat you with kindness. It's something you have to try for yourself, and might possibly be surprised how good it feels!

Adara, your light is shining brighter every day honey. Thank you for sharing with us.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/11/out-of-closet-into-life.html

Rhenaiya the Brave

2006-01-27T04:01:00.000-06:00

I have seen Rhenaiya's transition over the past few months. She and I live in the same city and are good friends. When we first met a few months ago, she already had an online presence (that's how we met), and had begun telling friends and family, however she'd only been out in public once or twice.

We started going places together, mainly the local gay bar (the larger closet) and had a great time dancing and socializing. Before too long though, Rhen wanted to take it further by going out publicly to more mainstream venues. The first time, we went to a movie theatre. It was a huge milestone for her because she totally passed! No one looked strangely at her, it was ALL GOOD.

Her confidence was boosted, and she continued telling more people, including many of those at work and her bosses. Everyone reacted with acceptance, which surprised us both. We were both fearing a negative outcome that was like those we've heard about. I was hesitant that she should be so open with her collegues (my own fears), yet she forged ahead and did it anyway.

The responses and reactions from her co-workers yet again boosted her confidence such that she decided to go to a certain event where there would be a huge diverse crowd from all walks of live. The difference on this occasion was she was less concerned with "passing" it seemed, and instead was interested in testing the reaction of our local society to "recognizing" her as bi-gendered.

She did not attempt to look like a "girly girl", but looked rather a "tom boy" with makeup on. She wasn't wearing a wig; instead a baseball cap on sideways and her natural hair in two little braids down the sides. She wasn't wearing a dress/skirt, she was basically wearing girls drabs. She was openly walking the gender tightrope.

My first reaction upon seeing her was shock and fear. I thought for sure she would get hassled, if not worse. Well we walked along through thousands of people, and I must say she got many looks. The looks I saw were surprise, shock and in a few cases distain. With all but one exception, the looks were not threatening.

Rhenaiya walked along with her head held high, smiling, proudly speaking relatively loudly, with no attempt to conceal her guy-voice. She openly expressed who she is, in mainstream public, in as honest and forthright a manner as possible. She truly conquered her fears that day, and I was (am) truly moved by her bravery.

Following this event, and the reactions received from the co-workers she had already told, she made the decision to "come out" to everyone at work. Let me emphasise a very striking point here: the woodshop she works in has a group of 50+ manly-men who do wood-working for a living. Think about it. These are blue collar laborer men in mid-nowhere Canada.

We (I) did not give them enough credit, for they have accepted Rhenaiya's transition on the job, without critisism, hostility or degradation. If anything, they have treated her more respectfully than before. A few months ago, Rhenaiya was a guy in their eyes, and now she comes to work in girls drabs and makeup. That's what I call speedy progress!

If Rhenaiya had not been so brave as to challenge her (our) fears, we never would have known how this brilliant miracle called "acceptance" could come from such an unexpected group of people.

Rhenaiya I respect what you are doing, both for yourself and the TG community. You are standing proud, in public, representing your closeted sisters and educating everyone around you just by your presence. You are being true to yourself, and making us all so proud. The deepest debt of gratitude is owed to you by the TG community for your part in changing the world. You are one of our champions.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/09/fear.html

Forgiveness is Golden

2006-01-27T03:53:00.000-06:00

Forgiveness is a topic that certainly relates to the life of everyone here, in one way or another. Our ability to forgive is constantly being tested. Rhenaiya Jesson said... "It is the gift of forgiveness, not just of others but of oneself. Guilt is just a form of self punishment and must not be overindulged." This is a very wise statement.

Forgiveness of self is the first step, which will pave the way to forgiving others. Guilt and shame are heavy burdens to carry, and are indeed a form of self-punishment. While it's easier said than done, releasing these boulders makes the path far easier to navigate.

The questions to ask are oneself are, "Is there anything in my past which I have not forgiven myself for? What are the events or sources of my guilt or shame?" The key is identifying these shadows and consciously deciding to release them, coupled with the will and desire to forgive yourself.

Then it should be asked... "Who in this world is yet unforgiven by me? For whom do I harbour this monster called revenge? What benefit can be achieved by hatred?" Once these questions have been pondered, it should consciously be resolved to release these demons and simply forgive. Just let it go... unconditionally forgive anyone who has wronged you, past, present or future whether or not they have apologized.

Anger and bitterness will only tear you up inside, so holding on tight to such feelings is purely detrimental to your own health and well-being. Forgiveness may be one of our greatest challenges in this life. It can be expected that many opportunities to forgive will be presented, whether of ourselves or others.

If a lesson can be learned from something deemed to be a "mistake", then it is not a mistake at all, but rather a stepping-stone to a greater understanding... and therefore, a gift. A gift disguised as a mistake.

When I read Rhenaiya's statement... "No matter what happens I will forgive them. To err is human nature. To forgive is mine."... I hear the angels singing. Thank you Rhen, for this uplifting message. We could all benefit by a little (or a lot) more forgiveness of ourselves, each other, our families, and the world at large.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/09/forgiveness.html

Alysyn the Wise

2006-01-25T23:54:00.000-06:00

Alysyn, thank you for sharing with us your touching letter to Jenny. I must object to your use of the word "foolish" in the title, as I do not see it that way at all.

You have in the past written about your life with Jenny, the ups and downs, the conflict, and the dissolution of your marriage. You conveyed a sense of frustration, slight bitterness, and perhaps a tinge of anger. These are normal human emotions given the challenging circumstances. How you deal with these emotions will determine the path of your evolution. What I read today has a different tone... one of forgiveness and unconditional love. How could this possibly be "foolish"?

The best possible thing you could do is forgive Jenny and those to whom she is related. Forgiveness is what is most needed for everyone concerned, particularly yourself. There is no benefit to holding on to old resentments, remembering past errors, questioning what has gone before. These dark energies will only eat away at you, causing regret, guilt, anger and sorrow.
By forgiving those who have wronged you, you release this poison from your soul and it can no longer haunt you after that.

Forgiveness is not always easy, especially in a case where many wrongs have been compounded over years. To truly forgive in such a situation requires setting aside the ego and obeying the heart instead. I see you doing this Aly, progressing toward the total forgiveness of Jenny. Once you accomplish this fully, a heavy burden in your heart will be lifted. You will then be free to love again.

Of love, do not regret that you continue to feel such for Jenny. She was a major player in your evolution, and it is appropriate to honour her with your ongoing love. Do not reprimand yourself for taking the high road, choosing love over hate. Consider Jenny one of your life teachers. She gave you many lessons, from which you are evolving. Because of the time you spent learning with her, you are better equipped to avoid the same pitfalls when the next true love of your life comes along.

Alysyn, you are transmuting challenges into wisdom, dark into light, because you have the strength to closely examine your feelings. Your post should instead be called "Ever so wise..."

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/11/ever-so-foolish.html

11:11 on 11/11 of 11

2006-01-25T23:53:00.000-06:00

It is the 11th moment of the 11th hour, on the 11th day of the 11th month, and 11 11 2005 sums numerologically to 11… {1+1+1+1+2+0+0+5}. Therefore, this moment is 11:11 on 11/11 of 11. It is time to talk about the number 11. At 11 a.m. on November 11, 1918, the "eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month” the Armistice Treaty officially ended World War I. There is great significance in this day, and also in the number 11. A master number, the number 1.11111111 squared = 1.2345678987654321. One encompasses all other numbers, a fact which is mathematically significant. The number 11 carries the vibration of evolution, not only in commemorating peaceful resolutions to wars, but through powerful new wisdom brought forth by the New Age movement.

Today is an appropriate time to open another new door between the Transgender and New Age communities. I have previously referred to the Kryon information of the Venus Transit gift. I will now confer about Solara and the 11:11 gates of human spiritual evolution. The significance of 11, and in particular 11:11, has been presented by both Kryon and Solara. Just as Kryon’s information supports transgenderism, so does that of Solara. Recall that the Venus Transit is an 8 year window of feminine energy brought to Earth by the energy of Venus in its orbit between 2004 – 2012. Kryon says this is a time where the gender energies of the planet will come into balance. There is potential for great change, assisted by feminine energy of love and balance brought by a stronger cosmic connection to Earth’s sister planet, Venus. The information presented by Kryon regarding gender balance is highly supportive of self expression as a transgender person.

The power of 11:11 also connects to transgenderism, and on this 11/11 of 11, it is time to highlight the connection. I want to share with you the wisdom of Solara, another highly influential teacher who is widely regarded in the New Age community. Unlike Kryon, Solara is a human being alive on earth. Similar to Kryon, Solara’s message is one empowering the human race, of awakening and human evolution.

Solara makes no attempts to convert people to her way of thinking. She merely holds up a new kind of light, and presents it in a way that resonates with a strikingly large number of lightworkers. She is a powerful, influential, wise, gifted, brilliant spirit, and at the same time, she is human. Her messages are presented from a slightly different perspective to those of Kryon, yet they are from the same divine source. Solara describes herself as a “spiritual revolutionary”. She is not a guru, nor does she have "followers", rather she serves as a catalyst to activate us into our own mastery so we may inhabit the Greater Reality. Solara is also not a "channel". She simply embodies her vastness; something available to all of us. To read more about Solara visit http://www.nvisible.com/

Solara has been highlighting the significance of 11:11 since approximately 1987, around the time of or shortly after the Harmonic Convergence. This was an important cosmic measurement point, where humanity was tested to determine whether to evolve/ascend to the next level… or not. The balance of humanity chose to evolve. As such, Kryon refers to the Harmonic Convergence as the 11:11, and regards it as the occurance of “permission to evolve”. It is around this time that Solara began her 11:11 work.

Solara conveys that 11:11 is our “wake-up call” and our “trigger of remembrance”. The significance of noticing 11:11 can be compared to a lucid dream, whereby the dreamer awakens within the dream state. 11:11 taps you on the shoulder, prompting you to look at the clock at exactly that time, and then winks at you as if to say “remember, this is only a dream”. 11:11 whispers in your ear “it’s time to wake up now”. 11:11 is like a glitch in the matrix that keeps popping up, telling us that something is not as it appears to be.

To make the connection between Solara’s message and transgenderism, it is necessary to first provide a brief background of the signficiance of 11:11. The following is exerpted from Solara’s website.

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A TRIGGER OF REMEMBRANCE

Repeated sightings of 11:11 have happened to millions throughout the world. Many want to know why this is happening? What does the 11:11 signify? For many years the numbers 11:11 have been mysteriously appearing to millions of people all over the world. Often appearing on digital clocks, the sightings of 11:11 tend to occur during time of heightened awareness, having a most powerful effect on those seeing them. When the 11:11 appears to you, it is your wake-up call. A direct channel opens up between you and the Greater Reality. The 11:11 is an insertion point for the Greater Reality to enter the present moment. When this happens, it is time to stop whatever you are doing and LOOK LARGER.

You can enter the Greater Reality and travel deeper into the Invisible. You can seed a long held desire, receive a vision, ask for help in some specific area of your life or simply feel the Invisible insert itself into the present moment. The revelations you receive will not come in the form of mental concepts. Rather, it will be an enhanced state of being in which you will see everything as if with new eyes. A deeper understanding of what is truly real will surround you. It tells you that it is time to take a good look around you and see what is real and what is illusory. It's time to pierce the veils of illusion which keep us bound to an unreal world.

You have been chosen, because you are ready, to step into a Greater Reality. To lead the way for others into a new way of living, into a Greater Love. To ascend from duality into Oneness.The 11:11 is the bridge between duality and Oneness. It is our pathway into the Unknown. Each time we see the numbers 11:11, our cellular memory banks are further activated. There's a stirring deep inside, a hint of remembrance of something long forgotten. The appearance of 11:11 is a powerful confirmation that we are on the right track, aligned with the Greater Reality. The appearance of 11:11 is an always beneficial act of Divine Intervention.

The purpose of the 11:11 Activation was to open the Doorway of the 11:11. This Doorway is the transition zone or bridge between two very different evolutionary spirals; our old one which is anchored in duality and the new evolutionary spiral of Oneness. Each evolutionary spiral is aligned with different Great Central Sun Systems. The Doorway of the 11:11 opened on January 11, 1992 and is now scheduled to close on November 11, 2011.

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According to Solara’s message, during the period of 1/11/1992 to 11/11/2011, there will be 11 Gates/Doorways of human evolution presented. Of the 11 Doorways, 7 have been “activated” so far. Activations involve performing group ceremony/ritual at a specific time and place. Groups of literally tens of thousands of human lightworkers have made the journey to physically attend at that time/place to assist in the Activation.

On seven different occasions and locations since 1992, lightworkers from around the globe have converged for the sake of evolution, with another four yet to come. Imagine a football stadium full of people, gathered together in some remote location, performing a ceremony to unlock an energy portal which will unleash the potential of human evolution. It is an understatement to say that Solara’s work has been revolutionary in the New Age community.

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In Solara’s words…

"Within the Doorway of the 11:11 there are Eleven Gates. Each Gate is a stepping-up station to a new frequency band of energy. These Gates are similar to locks in a canal. Once a Gate is activated and entered, we begin an intense process of transformation and initiation as our beings are immersed in a new frequency patterning. Traveling upon these frequency bands, we master the lessons of each Gate until we arrive at the next Gate. Each Gate has a unique vibratory keynote with which we must align ourselves in a state of harmonic resonance. It is this process of alignment which gives us the needed recalibration so that we may travel deeper into the Invisible. The Gates of the 11:11 can be entered at any time once they have been activated, for we are not all on the same timing within our evolutionary spiral. Hence, you might be currently experiencing any or all of the first four Gates. However, a Gate may not be entered until it has been properly activated.

The First Gate - Healing our Hearts

The focus here is on the healing of our emotions. This requires a constant process of letting go, a continuous reevaluation of our old ways of feeling & loving. With this much needed healing of our individual hearts, we experience an activation of our One Heart. The One Heart is the heart of all. It is the core of our new emotional body. This means that we share the same heart, a much vaster and truer heart than before. The One Heart is the heart which cannot be broken. There is no more "giving" or "receiving" of love. Love simply is, a constant recycling, coming and going and recirculating. As we let go of the experiences of the past, we learn to live our Love.

The Second Gate - And the two shall become One

The keynote of the Second Gate is the two becoming One. This entails an intensive process of reunifying all our inherent polarities: inner male & female, Sun and Moon, spirit and matter, Earth and Star. Our new emotional bodies are strengthened, further anchoring the One Heart. We now embody the Lovers from Beyond the Stars; a deeper, vaster Love than we ever experienced as True Loves. The reunion of the Lovers from Beyond the Stars back into One Being creates the doorway into a new heightened level of Love called the Greater Love.

To read about Gates Three to Seven, visit http://www.nvisible.com/

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Solara’s information is relevant to the Transgender community because the Second Gate balances inherent polarities, including that of gender. I propose that transgendered people are evolving through Gate Two, and reunifying their inner male and female polarities. It is due to this balancing of inner gender influence that males are inclined to outwardly manifest their inner femininity, just as females are inclined to outwardly manifest their inner masculinity. Men exhibiting femininity should be celebrated because it is a sign of human evolution. Based upon Solara’s message, a man can not evolve without transcending Gate Two, which includes embracing his feminine self.

The linkage here is that Solara’s influential 11:11 message supports transgenderism. Those who resonate to the message of Solara, must also embrace transgenderism. If evolution through Gate Two requires the balancing of male/female, it follows that transgenderism is actually the state to which all humans must aspire if they are to evolve. A transgendered human is a more evolved human. All who align with Solara and have passed through Gate Two must themselves have become transgendered in the process.

At this precious moment of 11:11 on 11/11 of 11, the light in me salutes the light in you, the beautiful transgendered Ones. Know that you are in the right place, at the right time. When you see 11:11, be reminded that human evolution is quickening, and you are forerunners on this path. The time for balancing gender duality is NOW.

Transgendered people are moving in an evolutionary direction.

Marlena the Swan

2006-01-25T23:48:00.000-06:00

Marlena Dahlstrom, I am so proud of you honey! You've really come a long way, both in your outward appearance, and more importantly in your inner perspective. Beauty radiates from within, the outside result is just the icing on the cake. Since you feel beautiful, you are. This is a key element. I have always seen your potential, yet my seeing it is not enough. It is you who must see it, believe it, act upon it, and live it. It pleases me greatly that you are now doing so, and the results are yours to be enjoyed. Feminine beauty is an empowering feeling.

In order to allow oneself to be beautiful, it is necessary to cast off the chains of self-doubt about perceived "flaws". Instead, find what is beautiful and focus on that instead. Anyone can find at least one physical attribute about themself which is admittedly beautiful. Find some of those things in yourself, admire them, and praise them. Feel good about those points which you love about yourself, and endeavor to give those beautiful aspects their due credit. Trust that whatever "imperfections" you may have are not important, and will take care of themselves. They will fade away just as soon as you stop giving them your precious energy. Realize that focusing and fixating on flaws will only expand those flaws, and detract from the beauty that can be had, and vice-versa.

Marlena I see you moving in the right direction. Instead of feeling like an "ugly duckling" you have come to the realization that you are a beautiful swan. You are now looking around, seeing the potential, and thinking about stretching your wings a bit further. This is a profound time in your evolution, and I celebrate the fact that you have reached this point. This is not a conclusion, but a beginning... the beginning of your life as a swan.

As a swan, you now have a slightly different identity than you did as a duckling. You are now considering changing your name. A name resonates with a certain energy frequency, which is representative of the person to whom the name belongs. If your energy has changed, a different name may be more appropriate for you. Rather than seeking a name that represents who you think you are at the moment, choose a name that represents who you want to become. Don't be afraid to name yourself after someone who you admire.

Marlena it touches my heart to know that I helped you. Thank you for reaching out to me in the first place and asking the right questions. I want to help, though I avoid giving unsolicited advice, especially in matters of physical appearances. Someone would have to ask me, as you did, to enable me to help. Anyone else in the group who would like my advice on such matters need only ask.

I am looking forward with great anticipation to watching you blossom like a flower, in your new life as a swan.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/11/beast-and-beauty.html

Inner Beauty

2006-01-25T23:46:00.000-06:00

I agree with Lauren Thomas' conclusion that the "outside image" is heavily focused on with not enough credit given to the "inside image". This common to TGs and GGs alike, with strong reinforcement given by men.

On the internet, it is possible to create any "identity" of one's own choosing. How close or far this identity is from reality depends on the motives of the person underlying that virtual identity. It depends what that person is looking for, be it information, attention, their jollies, or real genuine human connections. For those seeking real connections, the "outside image" will fairly closely reflect reality. It also depends on the needs and goals of the audience. In communities where the importance of external appearance reigns supreme, the internal is often overlooked or forgotten.

The question is, how important is someone's external appearance to you? Does this criteria determine whether you will interact with that person on a friendly basis? Does it assist in the judgement of whether they are worth your time or not? How much information about that person can be learned by assessing their physical appearance? If you put the most credence in a virtual image as presented, you run the risk of being fooled.

If instead you seek people with character substance, you will find that fabricating substance is too much work for those who are just playing games. When you meet someone new on the internet, ask some questions, get them talking. Their words will tell you much more about their "inner image" than any photo.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/11/inside-image.html

The Truthgiver

2006-01-25T23:38:00.000-06:00

--> Alysyn Ayrica... "I also came to realize that this foundation in rational thought was also a means to maintain my masculine identity and somehow shut out the flood of emotional intensity which was, daily, filling up my basement… I’d grown increasingly weary of constantly, year after year, waveringly breaching my feminine nature and then stepping back into the masculine role offered me at birth, disgusted at not only my lack of sophistication at the task, but also at how like a trapped animal it made me feel."

--> Michele Angelique... "This is a most eloquent expression of the need to be true to oneself. Before you can be truly happy and fulfilled in life, it is necessary to have the basic freedom to BE who you ARE. The more YOU fight against YOU, the more frustrating and exhausting life becomes. In the case of someone like yourself, who is so intensely self-aware, denial of your basic nature is like living in solitary confinement. The male role is (unfortunately) very restrictive in terms of emotional boundaries, and for someone with a high “E.Q” (comparible to I.Q., except on an emotional level), such restrictions would be like slow death. What a wonderful blessing that you are able to express yourself so well in writing, as writing is a tremendous outlet and tool of self-realization."

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Aly said... "How painful is it to live with the loss of not only your husband, but the actual male identity that once inhabited the persona, while still interacting with that person?"

Michele said... "This is a point I wish to ponder… tell me, will your male identity really be lost? Where will he go? How painful will it be to “kill” him? I very much doubt he will go down without a fight. Will it be possible to extinguish him completely and permanently? Certainly, your male body is transformed into a female body, and you look very different. But are you not the same person as before? Surely, in female form you can shed the societally restrictive boundaries to self-expression, and no longer feel the need to participate in stereotypically “manly” activities unless that is what pleases you… but are you not still the same underlying person? What if the resulting “You” after the transformation is allowed to be the same person, but with the added benefit of a lot more freedom of self-expression? The same You, but now living “outside the cage”?

With this in mind, your own feelings of disgust and condemnation toward your male identity might subside. He does not have to perish in order to let Her live. He and She are One; they will coexist in the same vessel (body) no matter what you do to change the vessel. You have total power to change how your vessel appears, whereas extinguishing an important part of the material inside might not be in your highest good. If you could embrace and love both the She and the He within yourself, it would be perhaps be the optimal way to manifest your greatest One in this life. The alternative is that YOU continue to fight against YOU, while inside a vessel that merely looks different than before."

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Aly said... "I had knowingly committed myself to an act that had a great probability of destroying all that I held dear in my life…family, friends, even my children…and risked just as great a destruction of my own soul. Is it possible to remain spiritually intact after having performed such a heinous act?"

Michele said... "How will such distruction occur resulting from you becoming the best possible You? By nurturing your own soul, you will come to love yourself dearly, and in doing so, you will overflow with love which will spill over onto your friends, family, and children. Everyone who encounters you will benefit because you are radiating inner peace, love, and compassion for others. If you are miserable in your own skin, people around you will feel your tension and may even be affected negatively by it. Whereas, if you are happy and joyful to be alive, others will be uplifted and inspired to follow your lead. So, in striving as you are to fulfill your highest good in this life, you are doing the best possible thing for your children, family and friends. There is nothing heinous at work here, precious One. This is all inspired by the love source, therefore it must be good. Dear sister, it is time to release the guilt you hold in your heart."

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Aly said... "If there was ever a time to question the wisdom of God, this would be the decision I would present. I, being the least qualified to be a parent, am suddenly the only parent that my children have."

Michele said... "God does work in often mysterious ways. I believe that God gives the most difficult challenges to the most advanced souls. My view is that the degree of the challenge is commesurate with the evolution of the participant… sort of like the exams in grade school. I do not believe we are ever assigned challenges we are inequipped to cope with. I think key is to find ways to navigate, overcome, and look for ways to turn negatives into positives at every turn. In doing so, our souls evolve further. While misfortune and tragedy most often appear senseless, there is a much bigger picture than can be readily measured on this plane of existence. Every challenge must be viewed as an opportunity for evolution… the bigger the challenge, the greater evolution will take place in overcoming it.

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Aly said... "The most troubling part of my journey through the brambles of transition has been witnessing firsthand the many intelligent and hurting ts women who have chosen to turn their backs on God merely because of their transsexual condition…. My dismay derives from the fact that the only real perspective they will receive is through the spiritual growth they obtain while working through this and communing with their God all the while. The truth of the trial comes not in the clothes, the hormones, the relationships…the truth comes from the Truthgiver. All things derive their meaning from some source. All things are created for a purpose."

Michele said... "This is the part of your writing that made me gasp, sent tingles up my spine, gave me goosebumps, put butterflies in my stomache, followed by tears of joy running down my cheeks. Aly, You are a very wise, very old soul whose words are so very illuminating. The Truthgiver, indeed. I too believe that the label is irrelevant because the source is One. I agree wholeheartedly… all things derive meaning from the same source and all reality is created for a purpose. What a spectacularly woven tapestry, this blind existence in which we live, as we struggle looking everywhere in the dark for answers, while all we need to light our paths is living right inside of us. The key is to look within to find the Truth because it is waiting to be found.Thank you Alysyn for sharing your Truth so intimately with us. We have all been uplifted by your presence and your insights. "

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Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/damnation-aly-pt-2.html

Passing the Test

2006-01-25T23:36:00.000-06:00

I like Lacey Leigh's (www.laceyleigh.com) perspective about passing while out en femme, "If they treat me the same as everyone else, THEY pass". I agree, rather than worrying about whether you can outwardly "pass" as a GG, just be yourself. People who recognize you for TG and choose to accept you, are the ones "passing" (or failing) the more important test in the bigger picture.

This special test is the ability of a human being to tolerate differences in others without judgement. This is a continual test put upon all humans in a myriad of ways. Some people pass, and for those who don't, the test keeps coming back around time and time again. As TG people you are gifted/burdened with the work/duty of administering this test, as are other visible minority groups. You cannot control other people's reactions. The only thing you can control is yourself.

Rather than trying to control the uncontrolable, just relax, be at peace with yourself, and let your light shine... smile at other people, make eye contact, say hello. This is the best that you can do. This attitude will make a positive impression on most people, and therefore uplift the TG cause as a whole.

What we each should focus on is whether we ourselves "pass" the same test. Do we judge, condemn or criticize other people because they are "different"? Is there any person or group (which is intrinsicly harming no one), that we cannot tolerate? If so, then we are not yet passing. Of course, every moment of our lives is a new opportunity, so the next time someone who is "intolerably different" crosses your path, welcome them with open arms. Then surely, you will be passing.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/whos-really-passing.html

SHE WHO IS

2006-01-25T23:31:00.000-06:00

The unleashing of SHE WHO IS, the union of sisterhood, the need to exist in our most beautiful form. Brielle said “there would be no realities at all without nurturing this gift of female union”. Indeed, this special bond between women is a gift among kindred spirits which is more easily expressed while in feminine form. The characteristics of sisterhood, such as empathy, compassion, emotion, trust, self-expression, are those very traits which are discouraged in men. But when you shed the male role, the emotional boundaries come down, and the characteristics of sisterhood and feminine love become possible.

The bond between you and “SHE” is something to be nutured, and perhaps she can become integrated with your maleself over time, if that’s the right thing for you. The way you express your bigendered nature is remarkable.

Brielle said “my two voices are then teamed as one in this tactical partnership, so to speak, The void of unconditional love has never been filled, except for this inner partnership, Acceptance, nurtured, and given that freedom not have to search for reasons why”. This is the type of self-love that we should all aspire to. The inner partnership of unconditional love and acceptance of oneself. In our very own hearts is where it all begins, and through the love and support of our sisters is how it evolves.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/of-ponderance-predjudice.html

Desperately Seeking

2006-01-25T23:26:00.000-06:00

Jenna said… " … if I walked into a room of 1,000 women, I'd walk out with a "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree", the sickliest one of the bunch! I've set standards and conditions in my partners that compliment my failings."

You are seeking love from outside of yourself, without first loving yourself. I think there are a few possible reasons you have chosen partners so in need of help. For one, you may possess a characteristic that is very common to women in relationships: the need to be needed. Your compassionate nature causes you to reach out to needy individuals because you can see the good in them. You look past their obvious failings and you see their "potential". Perhaps you have chosen partners who were not good for you because you thought you could help them, fix them, make their lives right. Your ability to gently ease their plight gave you a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

The problem is, rarely is such a relationship equally beneficial for both parties. I would guess that you’ve often found yourself in relationships where you are giving, giving, giving, and not getting much in return. I am sure you have learned the hard way that it’s impossible to change another human being, even if the change is in their best interest. The only person you can change is you.

Two, by choosing a partner with bigger problems than you, it’s easier to avoid fixing yourself while you are focusing on fixing them. In other words, it may have been a subconsious avoidance tactic on your part… "it’s better to be with someone who causes me grief but who I can help, than to be by myself and have to work on helping myself."

Three, it is natural to gravitate towards people who are a reflection of ourselves (or of who we think we are). In the case of someone with low self esteem, the bar would be set low. Perhaps you have felt that you do not deserve any better. Perhaps you have felt that in choosing the "charlie brown christmas tree", there would be less risk of loss.

The key is to look inward for answers, seek to understand yourself, and learn to be comfortable on your own. As you begin to truly love yourself, instead of requiring that missing love to come from outside of yourself, you will become happier, more complete, more balanced. You will naturally attract similar people. You have so much to offer in a relationship, and waiting for a partner who truly deserves the gift of your love is a very wise choice.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/am-i-destined-to-be-alone-forever.html

How Far You've Come

2006-01-25T23:23:00.000-06:00

Everyone has regrets. While the past will never go away, perhaps sharing experiences with kindred sister spirits will help you to make peace with it. You have endured a great many storms, and yet, you have prevailed. I daresay, the challenges have made you stronger and wiser.

Please love and appreciate yourself for the strides you have made, and for effectively coping with whatever life has thrown your way. While you may feel that times in the past have gone wrong, there really is no such thing. Everything that happens in life is a lesson meant for growth.

The fact that you have evolved as a person, and are striving to blossom, is a tribute to your strength of character. When you look at your life and ponder the moment, never forget: it's not where you are today that counts the most... it's how far you've come from where you started.

Let your light shine on!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/damnation-aly-pt-1.html

Poisonous Misogyny

2006-01-25T23:14:00.000-06:00

Misogyny a.k.a. woman hating is what we are fighting against. The ingrained, deep seated belief that women are inferior to men, and that for a man to be like a woman means he is also inferior. Even women crack the "sissy-whip", in other words, even women are subversively misogynous. The sad thing is, despite women's lib, bra burning, fighting for equality... women still don't "get" it yet. By rejecting femininity in males, we inadvertently promote gender discrimination. We admit to the world that women are inferior. We are our own worst enemies.

It's true, if a man (or boy) exhibits feminine characteristics, both men and women will challenge his masculinity. Shouldn't women recognize that men wanting to emulate us is a step in the right direction for true equality? A man striving to be like a woman discredits the premise that men are naturally superior... it shakes the foundation of culturally engrained gender roles. It's no surprise misogynous men are afraid of this phenomenon, but feminists should be 100% supportive of men aspiring to be like us. I say, it's about time!

What breaks my heart about misogyny is the effect it has on little boys... the way they are discouraged from displaying emotions, limited from experiencing empathy and compassion, not permitted to openly express their full nature. While the birthright of masculinity has historically been considered superior, to be a little boy forced to become a man in today's world can be a very high price to pay. When I speak of "men's liberation", it is in reference to the necessary emacipation from the confines of a little black box called misogyny.

Macho bravado and stereotypical manly attributes are poison to a human spirit born in a male body. To be rigourously confined as such would be slow death for many whose true essence spans a wider spectrum than just the male role. My heart breaks for men, living in chains, prisoners of societal conditioning, the guardians of which are largely themselves.

Ideally, human beings would be free to express themselves in whatever degree of male/female that suits them, without fear or judgement. I am confident that at some point in our lifetimes, society will look upon this transgender discrimination in a similar light as we now look upon slavery. It's backward and barbaric. It's time to evolve!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/misogyny-makes-man.html

Our Family Bond

2006-01-25T23:11:00.000-06:00

Over the past several months since starting GenderEvolve we have bonded, both as a group and individually. In addition to sharing friendship and trust, we have walked alongside one another’s personal journeys. Each of us has evolved as a result. Through this process of sharing thoughts and experiences, light is being shed where there was none before. We are collectively finding the words to define ourselves, our identities and our values. Through this unification of purpose and collective vision, we are working toward common goals. I feel our collective voice can only grow stronger every day. The work we are doing here at GenderEvolve is very special indeed… dare I say, evolutionary?

Since the beginning, I have felt connected to you. Our interactions have been enlightening, uplifting, quite often profound, intense and almost always very candid. Whether by virtual presence or in person, the connections among us have deepened to a degree where the only fitting description in my mind is “family”… and I mean the best kind of family. I feel as though you are my soul sisters, my kindred spirits, my loved ones… my family. When I openly and publicly express my love for you, individually or collectively, it is in this familial sense.In a world where we each feel so alone, we can turn to each other and be understood, be supported, and most importantly, be loved. We can laugh together, cry together, grow together… and in the process we are helping ourselves, each other, the TG community. Before too long, our voice will also reach beyond our little realm.

It is my hope that this very special family bond among us will continue to blossom and flourish for the rest of our natural lives, and then some. By reaching out to one another the bond is forged, which is the glue that holds us together. The stronger it becomes, the stronger we become, both individually and collectively.Bloodline does not make a family. Family is made in the heart, and based on unconditional love and acceptance. We already have these attributes among us, and we are only just beginning. I feel as though I’ve found my “place” in the grander scheme, and it’s with you, my family. Now that I’ve found you, I never want to lose you.

I am more contented and at peace with the direction of my life than I have ever been.Blessed be to you, my dearest spirit sisters… thank you.

Originally posted at: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/10/our-family-bond.html

Starting a Revolution

2006-01-24T02:19:00.000-06:00

The only way to start marching forward, moving toward progress is to be united in solidarity for the cause. There are many ways to accomplish this, and any measurable effort made by anyone counts toward the goal. It's time for everyone to get involved with the community to the best of their ability. Positive public representation is needed; many more transwomen must become visible in society.

Before we can take our message to the world, it needs to first be determined exactly what is "the cause"? Who are we and what do we represent? And who are we not? We come from all walks of life, all around the world, what is the glue that holds us together? Before we can "represent", we have to decide who and what we are representing. What is our position? What defines us? Without this, we can't even begin any strategic directed movement because we ourselves don't know where we're going.

The movement must begin with the formation of guiding principles that proponents of the movement can support (manifesto, mission, principle, doctrine, directives, etc). Solidarity can only come with a solid definition of purpose. There is a need to redefine transwomen, and differentiate you as a distinct group apart from the other groups who may resemble or impersonate you.

There are at least three points I think need to be strongly promoted:

1) Transwomen love women and femininity

If the women of the world could see how much you support us, how could we not embrace you? The reality is, we have no idea that you even exist! You are like Peter Pan to us. Visible groups who crossdress (ie: drag queens) do not love us, and in some ways they are ridiculing us. Other groups (ie: shemale pornstars) are abusing our feminine charms and demeaning the image of women. You are the opposite of those groups in the sense that you actually LOVE us! You respect us, you strive to do credit to our image and support our causes. We don't know about your special kind because you are mostly closeted. I was floored at the discovery of you, like finding some windfall stash of rare diamonds that no one else knows about.

2) Transgenderism is not a sexual orientation

While I applaud the effort of the gay/lesbian/bisexual movement to include transgenderism, in some ways the GLBT movement has promoted the view the TG is a sexual orientation. Even the most free-spirited liberal people out there might not realize this critical point of distinction. We need to erase the notion that conclusions can be drawn about sexual orientation based on gender identity. No such relationship exists, as TG people come in every type of orientation that ordinary people do.

3) Transgenderism is neither a mental disorder nor a fetish

Psychologists are working from the premise that only the above two choices are possible. The transperson who is happy and comfortable with their duality is not recognized. No one has properly defined the duality as a gift, which to those who can freely express themselves, it is. The pain/grief of the duality is often only a result of social repression and negative external consequences, not the duality itself. If you were able to just be yourselves, many of you would rejoice and celebrate your duality as a gift.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/roll-call.html

Beware of Bubba

2006-01-24T02:12:00.000-06:00

Though we'd all prefer to focus on the good things in life, we've got to take the bad with the good. The reality is, Bubba does exist, and he lives everywhere. Rather than ignoring the problem, let's face it, and try to find ways to deal with it.

On average, in the United States, one transgendered woman per month dies violently at the hands of Bubba. Furthermore, history indicates that 25% of all genetic women are violently raped by Bubba sometime during the course of their life. Bubba is a serious concern to all who identify as female, visible minority, physically weaker, or culturally different. Sadly, Bubba is so low in moral fiber that he will even victimize little children.

I have grown up all my life watching for Bubba, and avoiding him when I see him. I learned very early that trying to reason with Bubba is generally pointless, as he's not too smart. From my experience, he can often be found wherever the testosterone runs thick: men's sports teams (particularly football and hockey), weightlifting gyms, country bars, biker bars, truck stops, pool halls, monster truck races... you get the picture.

I find Bubba to be such a repulsive entity that I tend to avoid venues he is known to frequent. If I accidentally find myself in such a place, and spot Bubba and his friends, I generally won't risk sticking around. While genetic females are at risk in the presence of Bubba, I would venture than transgendered women would be at even more of a risk. Appearing female, you are certain to attract Bubba's attention. If he realizes you are transgendered, he is likely to believe that you "tricked" him, and would feel justified in harassing you if not worse.

Not everything about being female is rosy. With the female gender comes sexual objectification, stalking and harassment. As transwomen, you may not be accustomed to being treated as female, and as such may not operate with the same caution that all females must.

We don't walk alone at night or go out to clubs alone. We can't leave our drink unattended. We have to be more careful about talking to strangers. We must look over our shoulders and stay alert at all times. This is reality, and the only advice I can give about Bubba is prevention and protection measures:

** NEVER **

1) Go out alone at night, except to very public places.
2) Go to a drinking establishment alone, or leave with a stranger.
3) Leave your beverage unattended, accept a drink from a stranger, or become too intoxicated.
4) Look down at your shoes when you walk... pay attention always!
5) Remain in an establishment where you've spotted Bubba, particularly if he is drinking... take your party elsewhere before it's too late.

** ALWAYS **

1) Carry a cell phone and a personal alarm.
2) Carry protection, ideally mace or bear spray. If you carry a gun or a knife, you'd better be an expert at using it lest it be taken and used on you.
3) Stick together as a group - even bathroom trips should be done at least in pairs.
4) Learn a self-defense technique (martial arts, boxing)
5) If connecting with someone new, take your own car and meet him rather than having him pick you up.

Here are a couple links to check out:
http://www.defendingwomen.com
http://bad.eserver.org/issues/1995/22/rentschler.html

Those who know me realize I am not the type of person to run from conflict. In the case of a conflict with someone like Bubba, it's the only safe thing to do. Sweetest sisters of mine, please always stay alert, watch your backs, and be careful out there.

AVOID BUBBA AT ALL COSTS!!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/beware-of-bubba.html

Your Own Best Girlfriend

2006-01-24T02:05:00.000-06:00

-->Brielle Whitney: Bri demanded to exist. She will not go quietly into the night nor will she be transparent. I’m ok, I’m pretty much at one with my duality, and I accept that the male is always going to be there. It’s a good thing, he protects her and nurtures her. He buys her whatever she wants. He loves her very very much and is proud of her too. He lets her live.

-->Michele Angelique: Brielle you are blessed with a duality that enables you to gain satisfaction and fulfillment from within yourself. Because you embody both a man and a woman, you do not require an outside person to "complete" you. You are already complete within yourself. While I am certain that you could thrive in a love relationship with the right person, you are not someone who is searching desperately in need of a partner.

While it is natural to require human companionship, many people live with a huge void in their heart and soul, constantly looking for that "perfect" love which will fill the void. Those who are able to fill the void from within oneself are more balanced and whole. Those who forever seek but can never find this total fulfillment from outside of themselves are generally miserable and bitter.

The relationship you have between Brielle and D allows you to stand on your own two feet as a complete person, more so than an "ordinary" human being. How many marriages contain the depth of love and understanding that D and B have for each other? This is a beautiful gift, and your two amazing selves are so lucky to have each other!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

What's a Slut?

2006-01-24T02:02:00.000-06:00

-->Brielle Whitney: After all, if you honored your female, would you be a slut?

-->Michele Angelique: I think the female persona is some form of "dream girl" embodying whatever the male-self deems most attractive or desirable. For some men, this persona is a slut (but then, what is a "slut" other than a word which has no masculine equivalent?), for others this persona is just a lovely woman expressing herself in any myriad of ways. The female self is a reflection of the male self's ideal woman, and so if he has a low impression of women, he will be more likely to dress/act in a way that demeans women. It is likely that such a person also thinks lowly of himself as a man. The girl manifest is simply some aspect of his inner-girl, for better or for worse.

On the other hand, I can't imagine anyone discovering feminine sexual power and not wanting to enjoy it. Being a sexy woman is an extremely gratifying experience because you get noticed, appreciated, and treated well by those who are attracted to you. It's hard to blame anyone for getting carried away enjoying this power, and I really don't know how to define "slut".

A couple decades ago it meant any woman who enjoyed sex, today I think it means any woman who has sex with a certain number of people within a certain time period. Some equivalent male terms for slut are "stud", "player", "loverboy", "gigalo", or just plain old "lucky". None of these terms are negative. Guys can like sex and have as much as they want with whomever they want without being considered dirty, whereas women are expected to keep their legs crossed to avoid being labeled "slut", "whore", "tramp" or "hooker".

Since I'm all about breaking down gender stereotypes, I say it should be ok for women to enjoy sex as much as men, and not be judged badly for it. Sometimes I like to look ultra-sexy, turn heads, make men turn to mush, and I wouldn't give up this power for anything. I may from time to time dress, appear or look like a "slut" because it makes me feel good and I am pleased by the impact on those around me.

The way I'm dressed will not change the fact that I only have sex with people that I truly care about, although some might assume differently based on what I am wearing on a given day. Looking sexy and being promiscuous do not necessarily go hand-in-hand, so a book cannot be judged by its cover.

So how can we define a slut?

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

You are Living Proof

2006-01-24T01:59:00.000-06:00

One of the things I'd like to communicate with mainstream society is that transwomen operate on the basis of a deep seated love and reverence for genetic women and femininity. I am not referring to those who crossdress only as a means to attract more sex partners, because I don't view those people as transgendered. You as authentic TG women dress as a way to outwardly manifest your inner woman. You relate so closely to women because you are women on the inside. It seems to me that you as transwomen study us as genetic women because you want to be like us. You admire and respect us, holding us in higher esteem than ordinary men ever would, and perhaps higher than we have of ourselves.

The world still deems femininity to be weaker and lesser, and even women don't want to be women anymore. "Feminist" women who abdicate their own femininity and strive to emulate men support the notion that masculinity is superior to femininity. Femininity is cast aside by men and women alike, and yet YOU as transwomen are celebrating it. The risks you face in aspiring to be like women include ridicule, isolation, discrimination, persecution, violence or even death.

You defy society's premise that men are superior to women, because if it were true, people like you would not exist. You are living proof that femininity has at least as much value as masculinity. You are evidence that strong can still be beautiful. You are people with the birthright of masculinity, yet you choose to manifest femininity. To me this shows the ULTIMATE regard for women. You love women more that we love ourselves, and far more than ordinary men do.

I find this very touching, and I know other genetic women would too. They just need to understand what motivates you because it is such a miraculous and beautiful thing. This is why I revere you so deeply. I see you as a special breed of human whose time has finally come. I will do anything in my power to support you.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

Are Our Spirits Gendered?

2006-01-24T01:55:00.000-06:00

--> Brielle Whitney: Now, on the spiritual level, if we are determined initially female, biologically, does it not then follow that the spirit imbued in us all is as well female? How can that change?... Is it not more likely that we carry that initial spark, “divine gift” as a baseline blueprint for everything else to come? BUT as we are imbued initially female spirited, where does that spirit go? So then, is it not so that out of woman, came man?

-->Michele Angelique: This is a fascinating point, which draws into question - are our spirits gendered? When I refer to yin-spirit and yang-spirit it is not a gender of spirit. Yin/yang represents the two opposing complementary symbiotic polarities in the Universe, of which gender is one of the myriad characteristics that can be described. Is there really such a thing as a male spirit or a female spirit, or do our spirits embody both genders? Hence, would not all human spirits be bi-gendered (transgendered)?

We enter a human body which exhibits the gendered form, and are expected to adhere to the stereotypical roles of that gender. Notice how every human being has some balance of both masculine/feminine traits? There is no such thing as purely masculine nor purely feminine, just as there is no such thing as purely yin nor purely yang (hence the two dots in the yin/yang symbol).

My question is whether "gender" goes so deep as to characterize our spirits, or is it something that describes just our physical bodies?

Originally posted to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/keys-of-life-in-our-extrordinary.html

Gender Euphoria

2006-01-24T01:50:00.000-06:00

** Gender Euphoria **

This phrase holds inherent joy, bliss and celebration. Euphoria is defined by Oxford dictionary as "a feeling of general happiness". I find this a marvelous contrast to dysphoria, "an emotional state characterized by anxiety, depression, or unease". Transgenderism is viewed by psychologists, the public at large, and even those in the TG community as a disorder. Disorders are painful, unhealthy, abnormal, and must be corrected. Whereas, a state of euphoria is something that every human being on the planet would readily adopt if it were available to them.

Everyone is looking for the "magic pill" that would cause a state of euphoria in life... it is a condition in which we would all aspire to live, if we could. If someone is so lucky as to have ready access to a natural state of euphoria, why on earth would they want to abdicate this? Those coping with "gender dysphoria" are in a state of suffering, whereas those gifted with "gender euphoria" are in a state of bliss.

Is it possible that those with gender dysphoria could naturally evolve toward gender euphoria they begin to embrace themselves?

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/gender-euphoria.html

Maturity is Key

2006-01-24T01:44:00.000-06:00

Regarding Jenna's friend Tina's situation and the questions posed... Tina is going out at night en femme, and the wife is staying at home. Transgenderism aside, many wives would not prefer when hubby goes out for a night on the town and leaves her to stay at home alone. I don't personally believe it's right or fair for either partner to unduly restrict one another, yet each person should still be mindful not to make the other feel left out. Does Tina invite her wife to come along when she goes out?

You say that Tina is "suffering" (tongue in cheek) with gender euphoria, and you relate this to a teenage girl phase. When Tina's wife picks a fight, is it generally related to Tina's look being too young/trashy? Does the wife make any genuine effort to help Tina with her fashion choices? This might not be so bad if Tina would consider her wife's advice, and as well, it might help for the wife to feel more included. I don't regard this so much as "parental supervision", but rather as "female guidance", which could in fact be very beneficial to Tina.

If Tina can find a way to bring her wife into the transformation process, make her feel important and revered as a member of the female gender, at least half their battle will be won. Euphoria is a blissful condition... does Tina share it with her wife or does she withhold it? Does Tina seek her wife's advice on all things femme? Or does she rely more on the advice of tgirls on alt and urna?
If I were Tina's wife, I would consider this a blow to the value/credibility of my own femininity.

From the detail given in your article I am unable to form any opinion as to whether Tina's wife is reacting to Tina's transgenderism or simply to Tina's teenage girl image. I am someone who celebrates transgenderism, and yet my significant other acting/dressing like a teenage girl would become irritating to me after awhile. I enjoy lesbian sex, but sex with a teenage girl does not appeal to me at all. Regardless of our gender identities, we *are* adults here. The wife might be comfortable with the feminine expression, but not the digression in age and maturity level. She might be keen on having a ladyfriend, but not a daughter.

Does this make sense?

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/gender-euphoria.html

Seeing You Come Alive

2006-01-24T01:39:00.000-06:00

When my friends and family ask me "why?", I've tried to explain the injustices that you face, and justify my passion for getting involved to the extent that I have. I have never felt anything so rewarding as to know that I have the power to help you and others like you, even if it is in only small ways.

To be totally honest, all my life prior to this, I have been a fairly selfish person. Everything I have done in the past has been to directly benefit myself or someone I know personally. It was not until I encountered you beautiful people that I became inspired to give of myself to a cause that is outside of my immediate realm. While my corporate finance life brings tangible monetary reward to my own life, it does not come remotely close to the satisfaction that I feel in knowing I have made someone feel as you have expressed.

Like yourselves, I am transforming. My transformation involves metamorpasizing from an introverted, self-centered, capitalist type person into someone who deeply cares and has the desire to give of myself for the good of others. Words cannot describe the good that my relationships with you are doing for my very soul... my essence is being uplifted by you each and every day.

I am happier now than I have ever been in my life, and it is because of you people. Having you in my life is the most positive force I have ever felt. In addition to being my dear friends, you are my muses, and my teachers. I learn and grow from our every interaction, and I could never thank you enough for what you are doing for me.

Watching you "came alive" as you embrace your true natures... like a brilliant butterflies emerging from their cocoons. This is most definitely cause for celebration! Life is so precious; we are never guaranteed to have tomorrow. By living for the moment, and expressing who we really are, it is easier to be thankful for our individual uniqueness. Seize the day!

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/mythologically-speaking-of-course.html

Reinventing Oneself

2006-01-24T01:34:00.000-06:00

We should resist internalizing external influences without first questioning their origin and determining if they contribute positively to our direction as an individual. Rather than taking ownership of others' standards, beliefs, fears, we should recognize that these are coming from some outside perspective which may not be right for us individually. If we can respect the diversity of individuality and view perspectives from others in such light, we can come to greater appreciation of our own personal uniqueness.

There is much to be said for individuality, and diversity should be celebrated. Ideally there would be a balance between individuality and human interaction. At some extent and degree in the pursuit of individuality, one becomes less unaware of the needs of others, possibly unable to reach out or find common ground. The result of too much focus on "self" is the loss of connection with the collective support of family, friends, groups. This could result in a feeling of isolation.

There is a balance between self actualization and collective interaction, and each person must find themselves at some point that is comfortable and healthy for them. "To thine own self be true" applies in any case where the outside influence would smash your confidence or would inhibit you from taking steps towards your goals.

Your gender transition is a phase of self actualization, where your inner girl is now beginning to evolve outwardly from the boy you've appeared as before. You are reinventing yourself. Your individual identity is in transition, so you are carefully examining the influences and messages you are receiving.

It is and will always be your choice what to accept as valid and/or right for you, and it’s especially important now. In the absence of such consideration, your individual identity would be formed haphazardly, without conscious thought, and perhaps out of balance. If we can each identify for ourselves the type of individuality to which we aspire, it is easier to measure whether any one influence contributes positively.

It's very important to surround ourselves with positive, supportive people who respect our individuality rather than try to hold us back or enforce their way of thinking. The goal is to avoid influences that hurt us, while seeking influences that help us. It may even be necessary to separate from some people and/or situations, and find new people and environments that are conducive to our positive direction and inner peace.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/08/resisting-influence.html

Living in Shadows

2006-01-24T01:27:00.000-06:00

I speak of male/female personas becoming more integrated, allowing for overlap, two spirits living in harmony. This is all a beautiful dream, but today's reality does not easily permit. I hope that you will all have patience with me as I naively grasp at ideaologies, and know that I am willing to recognize the dark side too. This is part of my evolution here.

I am beginning to understand why most of you keep the yin/yang parts of you very separate and distinct, at opposite ends of the gender spectrum. Not because it is your ideal balance, but because you do not have the *freedom* to be you.

For most of you transwomen, there is very real danger of dire social consequence if your secret becomes known. If something so simple as signing your femme name accidentally could be a catastrophic event, I can understand why you live in fear. We are not in the promised land just yet, and in today's world being outed could indeed be very painful. It is important to protect yourself, and "lesson 1" is an appropriate title here.

What truly rips my heart out is the fact that your secret is not bad, wrong or dirty... you're not hurting anyone, you're enhancing yourselves. I don't see you as having a "disorder"; I see your duality as a precious gift. I am shattered at the notion that you are condemned to an existence of hiding because people do not yet understand the miraculous creations that you are.

The fog of social misunderstanding surrounding transwomen is so thick, yet it only takes a single flame to enlighten an entire room. When I hear stories like Arianne's, it makes me sad, mad, sick, overwhelmed... it makes me want to fight against whatever ugliness in the world exists to deny your basic human right to "be".

For now, we have to deal with present day realities, and do whatever is needed to be safe in today's society.

Originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/07/evolution-lesson-1.html

Decompression

2006-01-23T06:10:00.000-06:00

Why do transwomen speak of "decompression" and returning to the "regular" you? Must you abdicate your masculinity in order to express your femininity? Are your two selves really two different people? I doubt it very much.

You have compartmentalized your maleself vs femaleself, probably as a defensive mechanism resulting from having to hide any evidence of *her* from the world. The fact is, you are one and the same person, make-up or not. When you get home from an evening on the town, and remove your adornments, the resulting person is still you... au natural.

Instead of creating such a "build-up" to "becoming" her, why not just allow yourself to "be" her on a more regular basis? This does not have to include "every detail", but rather, just the little things. For example, do you wear a soft satiny nightie when you sleep or do you wear men's boxer shorts? Do you keep your body skin smooth? Apply fragrant body lotion? Toenails painted? Take a long bubble bath with candles? Wear lip gloss and girly hairstyles around the house? Wear women's panties under your suit? Do you do these little things for yourself? These are the kind of little things that you can do that will help to bridge the gap between your worlds.

You feel so depressed when you dismantle your femme self because you won't get to see her again for awhile. You do not have to go "all the way" male or female. If you start letting her poke her head out of the closet more frequently in smaller ways, you will find the decompression is less significant.

Darlings, accept and love yourself as "two-spirited". Allow yourself to flourish as such, without sacrificing either spirit. Both sides of you can exist simultaneously. If you will let them, both sides of you can exist harmoniously too. You are such beautiful people, all of male/female you. I think you are the total package, the full meal deal. The woman that catches you will be very fortunate indeed. Please don't ever give up hope.

(originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/07/whats-end-game.html)

What is Character?

2006-01-23T05:50:00.000-06:00

July 18, 2005

Character is defined by Oxford Dictionary as: n. 1. all those qualities that make a person, group or thing what he/she/it is and different from others. 2. a person's moral nature. 3. moral strength. 4. a person, especially a noticeable or eccentric one. 5. a person in a novel or play... "

I am a character... in fact, I am a myriad of characters. I have many facets and social personas, and I decide which to put on depending upon my mood, situation and environment. While my characters may not be as radically different in outer appearance as a M-to-F transition, they are nonetheless each finely crafted and based upon many years of growth and introspection.

I use a certain character for business relations, one that is logical, forthright, unemotional, down-to-earth, diligent, and quite male in demeanor. I have another character that is a fun and flirty party girl who likes to dance the night away. I have a sweet little baby girl character, and yet another who is a commanding dominatrix bitch. I have a spiritual seeker, philanthropist, nurturer character, and I am host to a haughty prima-donna character as well. Ideally my characters would live in total harmony, although regretfully this is not always the case. I am a character that is being refined continuously as I strive to reach wholeness, totality, completion as a human being.

I am more than just Michele, yet she is intricately woven into the fabric of myself, and inextricable from the larger me. You as a transwoman are a feminine character that has been developed quite strategically, rather than a random haphazard compilation of traits resulting merely from circumstance. You are putting conscious thought into developing your femme self as an identity based on aspects of your real self. She is the shell you wear to outwardly express an aspect of your true nature. I can totally relate to this.

I love the creative expression that goes into character building. With the simple changing of external adornments, mannerisms and language, it is possible to switch between the choice of a huge spectrum of available personas. We can appear to be whatever we choose to display.

Generally it is assumed that our outer shell is a reflection of who we are inside, although this is not always the case. Perception is often deceiving. Many nuances go into building a persona/identity/image, from personal beliefs and preferences, to the social environment and intention of the message. I enjoyed your examples of characters who transition from the mundane to larger-than-life.

In both cases, a process or journey is inherant in the change, with the goal of becoming something much more brilliant than the original self. The message here is to encourage people to break the mold, and be characters in their own right.

The Calling

2006-01-23T05:38:00.000-06:00

July 7, 2005

I do not know what it is, but my recent introduction to the transgender community has sparked some truly amazing feelings in me. I am a passionate person in general, but no single other thing in my life experience has ever grabbed my attention with such undeniable magnetism, such pure force, that it feels almost divinely inspired. I am compelled to make a positive contribution to the transgender cause, though I can not explain why I feel so strongly inclined. I can only try to tell you what is motivating me.

My writings to date are the tip of the iceberg of what has been welling up inside of me, there is so much that waiting to burst through to the written word. From the very first moment I interacted with a tgirl (in person or otherwise), in March 2005, I was captivated. I joined URNA in April and found all of you, each so special and beautiful in your own right, and yet so under-represented. I am positively blown away to find so many extraordinary, talented, intelligent, kind-hearted people all together in one group.

Yin spirits in yang bodies, you are brilliant in my eyes. You are nothing like the negative stereotypes that society sees. Yet my heart breaks at the realization that you are trapped, like beautiful caged birds, not so much by your bodies but by social oppression. The injustice of your plight overwhelms me, and I am driven by the desire to help you, to do whatever I can to emancipate you.

It seems to me that a minor shift in perception is all that is needed to trigger widespread acceptance of transgenderism. If others could see as I see, there would be no more lonely tgirls. I see so many obvious merits to the feminine evolution of man, so many points of understanding I want to communicate, yet I have been holding back these thoughts. I have been trying to block them out of my mind, but without success. I know this could consume me if I let it.

I fear that if I open the floodgate and let it start pouring out, how will I focus on my successful but demanding career which has been 10 years in the making? Am I ready to start from scratch?I look at what is more important, more fulfilling, in terms of life goals and I wonder: is this corporate finance career I have made simply a distraction from my true purpose of making a difference in this world? Yet if I am to move forward on a larger goal of openly dedicating myself to helping create new understanding of transgender identity, my finance career will not survive.

These are mutually exclusive life paths, and I am standing at the fork in the road. If I want to climb the corporate ladder, I can not risk putting myself on a site like URNotAlone. I am easy to recognize so I could not live a double-life. All forms of discrimination are rampant in the upper ranks of the old wasp boys club finance/investment world, and to succeed in that world it would be necessary to maintain the status quo in all aspects of my life.Being honest with myself heralds the realization that the status quo would be a waste of my precious human life.

The beauty is, it is not too late for me to forge a new path, one that is more meaningful and important than spending my days working to make money for greedy strangers. I have pursued the field of finance not because I love money, but so that I may one day be in a financial position to fulfill my philanthropic dreams. My largest goal in life has always been to somehow make a positive difference. I am coming to realize that my present path may be the long way around.
I have always been entrepreneurial, willing to take risks, and I know that this new path must be driven by a leap of faith. It just feels more right to me than anything I have felt before.

What I am feeling is not grounded in logic. I know I will suffer short term losses in pursuit of longer term gains for others, but it is what I must do. It feels as though a larger force is tapping me on the shoulder, calling upon me to deliver a message that is more important than anything else I could ever do.

I want to do whatever is in my power to help you to cast off your shackles, unlock your closet doors and reclaim your true identities. This might sound grandious, but all change starts somewhere, why not here? As Lao Tzu says, even a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Whatever progress we make here as a group will help to pave the way for the coming generations of transgendered people. You do not have to come out of the closet to make a valuable contribution to this cause. If through our united expression, we can work against the negative stereotypes, and produce even a glimmer of positive understanding from society at large, life will get easier for all of you.

I have decided to trust my instinct, follow my heart, and dedicate myself to your beautiful path. I can not explain what force has guided my ship to your shoreline, all I know is it is made of pure intention and based on love. I am here with you to stay, and will contribute my abilities, resources and time to making a better world for you.

Thank you transwomen for welcoming me with open arms.

(originally posted at http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/07/calling.html)

A Positive Impression

2006-01-23T05:33:00.000-06:00

June 29, 2005

I was asked the question, how do genetic women feel about crossdressers? I don't think the feelings of genetic women about crossdressers can be generalized. It depends on the situation, the people, the culture.

You might be surprised to know that some of the looks and whispers from genetic women are positive. Although they may realize you are a crossdresser, they could just as easily be whispering that they love your shoes or some other aspect of you.

All of the genetic women friends I have spoken with about my new found love for transgendered women are initially quite in the dark about the whole topic, as was I until a few short months ago. When I explain that you are doing this out of your love for femininity, my genetic female friends have responded positively.

I would venture that the vast majority of women you encounter will be ignorant or neutral about your situation. This does not mean they will judge you negatively. It might instead mean that they are like blank slates, waiting to be impressioned. Or perhaps they already have an impression, and could benefit from seeing your example.

My best advice to you is this: when you go out en femme, carry yourself with pride and dignity. Look people in the eye, keep your chin up, and smile warmly. Don't feel guilty because you are out in public representing woman-kind, feel honored and let it show. Just by your presence, you will enlighten many people around you. You are not like the stereotypes they may have been exposed to... you are a proud, beautiful, classy woman who dresses because you respect and love the feminine gender. Women can't help but recognize that, even if only subconsciously.

Every person who sees you will be changed in some way. You have the power to influence this change by your actions, demeanor and appearance. Going out is an opportunity for you to help enlighten people. That is a very credible purpose for which you should be proud.There are also women like me out there, who approve of what you are doing, and admire you very much. If more women had the opportunity to understand you, our numbers would grow.

I am hoping that as a collective group, we can find ways to show people the truly beautiful spirit in which you and others like you are crossdressing. Every time you go out dressed you are taking a step for progress.

(originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/what-do-genetic-women-really-think.html)

Transwomen in the Media

2006-01-23T05:28:00.000-06:00

June 23, 2005

It is unfortunate that the media has propegated stereotypes which undermine the transgender community, and it seems there really hasn't been anything noteworthy to balance things out. There has yet to be a common venue that does proper credit to the real spirit of classy, intelligent, beautiful transgendered ladies.

Until I was introduced to URNotAlone, I didn't even know people like you existed. I was as ignorant as the common masses about tgirls. All that I had seen were media examples showing the glammed up barbie-dolls and trashy hookers... and always their affinity for men, never women.

Unlike so many real TG people, the ones who are seen in the pop culture and daytime t.v. are those who seek and thrive on being in the spotlite. They will often go to extremes to be noticed, and in doing so they compromise the integrity of the transgender community at large.

What is needed is for more authentic, intelligent trans women to step out of the closet and into the limelight so the world can see your true beauty. This is not an easy step, because most of you do not want special attention and recognition for your transgenderism. Until some of you step up to the plate and publicly represent your community, the world will only get to see the shemale pornstars and the tgirl entertainers/hookers.

That's a real travesty because most transwomen are true examples of feminine/yin beauty, inside and out, and could be inspirations not only the trans community but humanity at large.

(originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/what-kind-of-girls-are-we.html)

Breaking Out of the Box

2006-01-23T05:25:00.000-06:00

June 20, 2005

It seems like so many people want everyone to neatly fit into one box or another. No box seems to truly fit me because I am dynamic, ever-changing, evolving, and that's how I like it... it keeps things interesting, (though it has got me into some trouble in my life!;).

I really admire transgendered people, who are brave enough to climb out of the box (or closet if you will), cast off the chains of status quo, and be free to just "be"... to be whomever you are at the moment... to reserve the right to change and grow in whatever ways suit you best.

If the box is a metaphor for the human body, I believe everyone has the basic human right to change and adorn their body as they see fit. In whatever ways are possible, the box should be made for the maximum comfort of its contents... the human soul inside the box.

People who truly love you will continue to love you no matter what the size, shape, color or gender of the box (body) you live in. Some people that do love you in their own way might still be reluctant to accept change, but in the end you must be true to what you value most in life.

If you are ready to completely transcend the illusion of the box, then its appearance, shape, size, gender, will be irrelevant to you, as you will recognize it as the facade that it is. If you are not ready, then just do what you can in the meanwhile to have the most comfortable and fitting box you can have so you can be the best person you can be.

(originally posted in response to: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/have-u-seen-my-box.html)

Am I transgendered?

2006-01-23T05:15:00.000-06:00

June 15, 2005

I recently commented that I’ve always felt like a man “trapped” in a woman’s body, and received several responses questioning whether I am identifying myself as transgendered by making this statement. I say “trapped” with tongue in cheek, because I would never want it any other way.

I used to work as a stock broker, in a position where all of my peers were older men. These men seemed to easily recognize and accept my inherant masculinity and started calling me Michael, Mikey or just Mike (my name is Michele). One day after market close we were having drinks, and I proudly proclaimed to this group of manly-men that I am a “gay man trapped in a woman’s body”. They all laughed, and one of them even pointed out the irony of my statement by saying, “well then how the hell are you trapped?”.

Paradoxically, my comment didn't phase these guys. If it had been a man saying the same in reverse, the social consequences might have been different. Pondering more closely upon the subject it would be most accurate to say that in spirit I am a gay male crossdresser residing very comfortably in a petite female body.

To explain what I mean...

1) By gay, I mean that my relationship preference has in the past always been with men, so if I were in a man's body I would be considered gay (although more recently I would consider myself bisexual, or better yet, pansexual).

2) By male I mean I have an abundance of yang energy. I have always related more easily to men, been more interested in male dominated career pursuits like finance and business, excelled in male dominated educational subjects like math and science, I tend to be aggressive and competitive with males, and generally lack in most feminine interests or qualities.

3) By crossdresser I mean because I adore femmie clothing, makeup, shoes, so much that if I were in a man's body I would be a crossdresser. My exterior is about the only thing about me that is blatently female, except when working I wear dark colored power suits to fit in with the guys.

So in spirit I feel like a gay male who crossdresses as often as possible, but only because I love having a female exterior. Despite my masculine personality, I prefer to be recognized as female. I am not at all the stereotypical “butch” woman.

So with the spirit of a gay male crossdresser, I'm lucky to have a female body because people think I'm just a straight female dressed as a woman. I’ve always felt like I’m somehow in disguise, like I have a little secret. I have never felt any urge to change this, or to hide my femininity. I wouldn't give up the very real power that comes with feminine allure for anything.

Since my inner self (male) does not match my outer shell (female), am I transgendered? It may be so, I’ve just never looked at it that way before. Or is the definition of transgendered based upon feelings of pain and anguish caused by the inner/outer gender mismatch? While knowing I have a male spirit, I want to continue living in a female body. Do I fit the definition of transgendered?I am very interested in receiving some different viewpoints on this topic, so please do share your thoughts.

Originally posted at http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/am-i-transgendered.html

CD/TV/TS Labeling

2006-01-23T05:14:00.000-06:00

June 15, 2005

There seems to be some controversy in the transgender community as to the usage and meaning of labels such as CD/TV/TS. I'm unsure how this labelling is beneficial, but I've seen many instances where it divides people and puts the community at odds with itself.

While clothing and make-up do not make a woman, some men cross-dress as an outward expression of that which they admire most. What I truly appreciate are those men who strive to do credit to the feminine gender because they love women, whether manifested as occasional cross-dressing or by varying stages of gender transformation.

A number of TS women have opined that cross-dressers don’t deserve to be called “she” because CDs are not on hormones or altering their physical body to become female. I disagree with this view because it is incredibly challenging to come out of the closet, even if simply in cross-dressing form. I would venture that it is not often a decision made lightly, and to do so a person must have fairly strong desire to manifest femininity.It is difficult to judge or distinguish immediately the degree of desire or intention, simply by the chosen label. I won’t jump to a conclusion based on a label, and will give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

Therefore I will not accept generalizations such as “cross-dressers are sexist men disguised as women so they can act like whores”, because many CDs are men whose life situation will not enable them to truly become a woman, but they still feel the urge to manifest their femininity to the degree that is possible for them. Or some CDs just enjoy their duality, and want to maintain the ability to switch back and forth.

The way I see it is this... transsexuals understand how hard they've had to work to be accepted as a "she", yet it is transsexuals themselves who seem to begrudge cross-dressers the same privilege... many crossdressers may in fact be early-stage transsexuals, or simply men caught in life circumstances that allow them to only dream of being a "she". It shouldn't be so difficult for anyone to celebrate femininity. This is not an exclusive club.

If he wants to be a she, even if only part-time or even closeted, and is doing credit to the female gender, then my view is that "he" deserves to be addressed as "she" while doing so. I want to encourage all respectful efforts from men to manifest yin, in whatever form is most comfortable to them. The degree doesn't matter, it's the purity of intention that counts most to me.

Originally posted at: http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/cdtvts-labelling.html

Pondering Men's Liberation

2006-01-23T05:12:00.000-06:00

June 14, 2005

I am only coming to realize the pain and guilt that so many endure for a simple pleasure like crossdressing. I am confounded by it, actually... how could something so harmless and healthy as a man wanting to express femininity be deemed so wrong by society?

Women earned the right to crossdress with "women's liberation", and no one thinks anything of it anymore. A powersuit on a woman is considered sexy by many... when I'm feeling my yang, I can dress and act as masculine as I want, and it's ok... why is a skirt on a man who's feeling his yin considered so abnormal? I really don't get it.

"Men's liberation" still has not happened. Society still binds men tightly to rigid one-sided standards. All men feel yin to some degree, yet are brainwashed into believing it must be surpressed and denied. This very fact is a discredit to the feminine gender. Women should recognize that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

For a man to want to be feminine means he places value on the yin energy, which is as it should be. To surpress and deny yin is to say it is of lower value than yang. The emergence of the openly yin spirited man is what is needed to balance this society and humanity in general.The irony is, it is men who are enslaving themselves to the rigid social archetype.

Ordinary men are threatened by the presence of yin spirited men because they are reminded of their own inner torment and battle to enslave the yin, such that many will respond vehemently if not violently. It is men who are keeping themselves confined to the little black box, and persecuting those who dare peek out and openly celebrate yin.

Perhaps it is the women who must reach out, help the men out of the little black box, and join them in the celebration of all that is beautiful, kind, nurturing, loving, feminine... by genetic women condemning trans women, they are assisting in the enslavement of yin, and admitting that yin is inferior. Instead we should be praising her emergence in the male population... it's about time!

The world could use a little more nurturing and love, and a little less war and greed.Yin spirited men represent the evolution of men... their existence indicates the decline of an old-energy social paradigm which has been so destructive to both men and women alike for most of human history.

(originally posted at http://genderevolve.blogspot.com/2005/06/pondering-mens-liberation.html)